AOBG – Page 206 – All Outta Bubble Gum

Crank 2: Supercharged Bat-Shit Insanity

September 22, 2009 by kain424

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Crank: High Voltage (2009): Breakdown by Kain424 Crank, but with electricity instead of adrenaline. Now with more Asian whores, nudity and gore! [THE EXECUTION] Though many would have thought the idea of making an even crazier film than Crank the very definition of impossible, director duo Neveldine/Taylor were more than willing to do … Read moreCrank 2: Supercharged Bat-Shit Insanity

Red Mullet

September 20, 2009 by Rant

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Red Sonja (1985): Breakdown by Rantbo Brigitte Nielsen sword fights Sandahl Bergman to prove to herself (and the audience), that there’s a difference between being a dyke and just looking like one. Though which side she’s championing is still up for debate. [THE EXECUTION] The evil man-hating Queen Gedren (Bergman) has recently gotten … Read moreRed Mullet

Villa Rides Killcount

August 10, 2024September 18, 2009 by kain424

Villa Rides (1968)

Starring Charles Bronson, Robert Mitchum and Yul Brynner

In Memoriam…

September 17, 2009 by Rant

Patrick Wayne Swayze 1952 – 2009 Uncommon Valor – Red Dawn – Steel Dawn – Road House – Next Of Kin – Point Break – Black Dog He Gave Us The Time Of Our Lives. You’ll Be Missed, Dalton.

Black Dog, White Trucker, Swayze Gold

September 16, 2009 by Rant

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Black Dog (1998): Breakdown by Rantbo Swayze drives a tuck, Meat Loaf preaches gospel and shit blows up, real nice like. [THE EXECUTION] The title, Black Dog refers to a occurrence reported by truck drivers that have been pushing too hard, driving too far and being too greedy(?), seeing an angry black dog … Read moreBlack Dog, White Trucker, Swayze Gold

Wolverine And His Amazing Super-Buddies Part IV: The Beginning

September 15, 2009 by Rant

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009): Breakdown by Rantbo Wolverine gets his fourth movie following his adventures of screaming at and beating up various other Mutant cameos. [THE EXECUTION] In an attempt to hold onto the rights for their dismally bad movie franchise, FOX has released yet another X-Men oriented movie for the droves of … Read moreWolverine And His Amazing Super-Buddies Part IV: The Beginning

American Force Of The Avenging Ninja

July 18, 2023September 14, 2009 by kain424

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Avenging Force (1986): Breakdown by Rutledal A retired martial arts expert/army intelligence agent becomes the target of a racist organization after saving a senator’s life. [THE EXECUTION] Between American Ninja and American Ninja 2, Michael Dudikoff and director Sam Firstenberg decided to make a less ninja-themed martial arts action movie. This was it. … Read moreAmerican Force Of The Avenging Ninja

Blood and Murder-Boners

September 13, 2009 by Rant

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Blood And Bone (2009): Breakdown by Rantbo Michael Jai White ruins mother fuckers with martial arts. Not their day, not their careers—them. [THE EXECUTION] In the future, I am happy to say, I will now be able to mention a 3rd movie when recommending an awesome illegal, high-stakes street fighting flick. BLOOD AND … Read moreBlood and Murder-Boners

Legacy Of Rage (1986) Killcount

May 20, 2023September 10, 2009 by kain424

Legacy Of Rage (1986)

Starring Brandon Lee and Hoi Mang

Masters Of The Loincloth

September 9, 2009 by Rant

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Masters of the Universe (1987): Breakdown by Rantbo Dolph Lundgren is He-Man. A man so manly, He must have Man in his name. [THE EXECUTION] The film opens with an epically nonsensical exposition and while it makes absolutely no fucking sense—it is one of the most awesome God Damned things I’ve ever heard … Read moreMasters Of The Loincloth