[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Mutant Chronicles (2008): Breakdown by Rantbo Machine from space turns humans into zombie-mutants. Tom Jane fucks shit up. [THE EXECUTION] The best way I can think to describe this film is, RESIDENT EVIL meets WAR OF THE WORLDS, THE DIRTY DOZEN and THE DESCENT set in a post apocalyptic steam-punk future—on a low … Read moreMutant Chronicles: Age Of The Green Screen
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Passenger 57 (1992): Breakdown by Rantbo DIE HARD on a plane and at a state fair, then back on a plane again. [THE EXECUTION] You know the scenario. When terrorists attack! This time, it’s at 35,000 feet and the only man able(willing) to do anything about it is Wesley Snipes. Because Bruce Willis … Read morePassenger Snipes 57
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Conan The Barbarian (1982): Breakdown by Kain424 A young boy’s home and village is massacred in violent raid. He grows up to be Arnold Schwarzenegger, and gets his bloody revenge. [THE EXECUTION] After the fiasco that was Hercules In New York, Arnold Schwarzenegger went back to focusing on bodybuilding. After winning several more … Read moreArnold The Barbarian
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Conan The Destroyer (1984): Breakdown by Rantbo Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Arius, there was an age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world and Arnold Schwarzenegger was still gay. Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, sword in hand. A big … Read moreConan: The Destroyer Of Franchises
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Streets Of Blood (2009): Breakdown by Kain424 Cops that blur the line between crooked and hard-boiled attempt to clean the streets of New Orleans. 50 Cent continues to attempt to act. [THE EXECUTION] Cliche. And not in the fun way. The films starts out with a cop being asked by a police counselor … Read moreStreets Of Boredom
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The 5th Commandment a.k.a. The Fifth Commandment (2008): Breakdown by Rantbo Hitman with a heart of gold realizes that while he is a natural born killer, he can still learn to love a horrible dayplayer. [THE EXECUTION] While working in Asia, Jazzman (one of the best hitman in the assassination business), shows mercy … Read moreThe 5th Commandment: Thou Shalt Kick Ass!
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Fast & Furious (2009): Breakdown by Rantbo New Movie. Original, Unoriginal Characters. [THE EXECUTION] I hadn’t gone to a FF movie since the first one raped me of my $7.50, back in ‘01. But, that changed this year after watching the trailer for the hunk-of-junk 4th installment, curiously titled, FAST & FURIOUS. Not … Read moreFast & Fourious
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Protector (1985): Breakdown by Kain424 A Chinese New York cop (yeah, I know) goes to Hong Kong (go figure) to rescue a millionairess and take down a drug cartel. [THE EXECUTION] After The Big Brawl turned out to be less than the massive success they’d hoped it to be, Jackie Chan went … Read moreThe Protector of… I dunno.
