[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Crime Lords (1991): Breakdown by Rutledal Two cops specializing in auto theft cases go to Hong Kong to arrest a crime lord and save their careers. [THE EXECUTION] Before I even start talking/writing about the movie I have to devote some time to the dvd cover, and its designer who most certainly never … Read moreCrime Lords
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] OneChanbara: The Movie (Big-Sister Sword-Fighting)(2008): Breakdown by Rantbo Japanese pop-models fight off legions of kung-fu fighting zombies, with samurai swords and double-barrel shotguns—while wearing bikinis and leather catsuits. There is nothing about that sentence that I don’t like. [THE EXECUTION] Right away, the premise for this film sounds like pure win, but the … Read moreOneChanbara [Oh-Nay Chawn Bar-Uh][Tit-A’s & Zomb-A’s]
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Police Story 4: First Strike a.k.a. Ging chaat goo si 4: Ji gaan daan yam mo (1996)(The Kain424 Cut: Which Combines The Original Hong Kong Cut With The Heavily Edited American One): Breakdown by Rantbo Jackie Chan fights for America in his biggest action film to come out the month of February 1996. … Read morePolice Story 4: Snow Banks and Shark Tanks
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Dirty Mary Crazy Larry (1974): Breakdown by Rantbo An asshole, a slut and a grease monkey get chased by cops. VROOM VROOM! SCREECH! CRASH!!! [THE EXECUTION] After seeing this film referenced in several Tarantino flicks, I broke down and decided to order myself a copy of the damn thing, if for nothing else … Read moreDirty Mary Crazy Larry & Complacent Deke
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991): Breakdown by Rantbo Beastmaster travels through a portal not of time (as the title would have you believe), but of California State stock footage in order to save a bimbo and stop a brother he never knew he had from stealing a neutron detonator. Seriously. … Read moreBeastmaster Dos: Through the Portal to the West Coast, Dude!
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Heroic Cops a.k.a. The Executor a.k.a . Jing wang shuang xiong (1978): Breakdown by Kain424 Two cops rail against the mob and a corrupt system through a combination of tight pants and overacting. Chow Yun-Fat pisses on someone’s face and laughs. [THE EXECUTION] I like watching the older films of a now-famous actor. … Read moreMelodramatic Cops
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Vigilante (1983): Breakdown by Rutledal Death Wish if Charles Bronson was a group of people instead of one person. [THE EXECUTION] The second I saw a movie titled Vigilante in the shelves of the movie store I knew there was no way I was going to leave without it. The cover played heavily … Read moreVigilante(s)
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Inglorious Bastards a.k.a. Quel maledetto treno blindato (That Damned Armored Train) (1978): Breakdown by Rantbo Five misfit criminal American soldiers are wrangled into a covert Allied mission while escaping to Switzerland during World War II. Hundreds die. My boner lives on. [THE EXECUTION] According to Tarantino, and some no doubt obscure Japanese … Read moreThe Disgraceful Men Birthed Out Of Wedlock
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Death Hunt (1981): Breakdown by Rantbo Backwoods trapper rednecks thought they could fuck with Charlie Bronson. They thought wrong. [THE EXECUTION] Directed by Peter Hunt, the father of modern Action editing and starring Chuck Bronson and Lee Marvin, two old school hard-boiled ass kickers, DEATH HUNT would have been pretty hard-pressed to suck … Read moreDeath Hunt; Kill Eat Shit Sleep And Die
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Wolfhound a.k.a. Volkodav iz roda Serykh Psov (2007): Breakdown by Kain424 Conan The Barbarian mixed with the story of Beowulf, King Arthur and Star Wars. Slave, Warrior, Savior, Bad-Ass. [THE EXECUTION] If you’re from the United States, then The Lord Of The Rings is about all you know of fantasy. That’s not a … Read moreVolkodav iz roda Serykh Psov