August 2009 – Page 2

Beastmaster Dos: Through the Portal to the West Coast, Dude!

August 9, 2009 by Rant

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991): Breakdown by Rantbo Beastmaster travels through a portal not of time (as the title would have you believe), but of California State stock footage in order to save a bimbo and stop a brother he never knew he had from stealing a neutron detonator. Seriously. … Read moreBeastmaster Dos: Through the Portal to the West Coast, Dude!

Melodramatic Cops

August 8, 2009 by kain424

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Heroic Cops a.k.a. The Executor a.k.a . Jing wang shuang xiong (1978): Breakdown by Kain424 Two cops rail against the mob and a corrupt system through a combination of tight pants and overacting. Chow Yun-Fat pisses on someone’s face and laughs. [THE EXECUTION] I like watching the older films of a now-famous actor. … Read moreMelodramatic Cops

Vigilante(s)

July 15, 2023August 7, 2009 by kain424

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Vigilante (1983): Breakdown by Rutledal Death Wish if Charles Bronson was a group of people instead of one person. [THE EXECUTION] The second I saw a movie titled Vigilante in the shelves of the movie store I knew there was no way I was going to leave without it. The cover played heavily … Read moreVigilante(s)

The Disgraceful Men Birthed Out Of Wedlock

August 6, 2009 by Rant

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Inglorious Bastards a.k.a. Quel maledetto treno blindato (That Damned Armored Train) (1978): Breakdown by Rantbo Five misfit criminal American soldiers are wrangled into a covert Allied mission while escaping to Switzerland during World War II. Hundreds die. My boner lives on. [THE EXECUTION] According to Tarantino, and some no doubt obscure Japanese … Read moreThe Disgraceful Men Birthed Out Of Wedlock

Death Hunt; Kill Eat Shit Sleep And Die

August 4, 2009 by Rant

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Death Hunt (1981): Breakdown by Rantbo Backwoods trapper rednecks thought they could fuck with Charlie Bronson. They thought wrong. [THE EXECUTION] Directed by Peter Hunt, the father of modern Action editing and starring Chuck Bronson and Lee Marvin, two old school hard-boiled ass kickers, DEATH HUNT would have been pretty hard-pressed to suck … Read moreDeath Hunt; Kill Eat Shit Sleep And Die

Volkodav iz roda Serykh Psov

August 3, 2009 by kain424

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Wolfhound a.k.a. Volkodav iz roda Serykh Psov (2007): Breakdown by Kain424 Conan The Barbarian mixed with the story of Beowulf, King Arthur and Star Wars. Slave, Warrior, Savior, Bad-Ass. [THE EXECUTION] If you’re from the United States, then The Lord Of The Rings is about all you know of fantasy. That’s not a … Read moreVolkodav iz roda Serykh Psov

Mutant Chronicles: Age Of The Green Screen

August 2, 2009 by Rant

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Mutant Chronicles (2008): Breakdown by Rantbo Machine from space turns humans into zombie-mutants. Tom Jane fucks shit up. [THE EXECUTION] The best way I can think to describe this film is, RESIDENT EVIL meets WAR OF THE WORLDS, THE DIRTY DOZEN and THE DESCENT set in a post apocalyptic steam-punk future—on a low … Read moreMutant Chronicles: Age Of The Green Screen

The Dark Knight (2008) Killcount

October 11, 2022August 1, 2009 by kain424

The Dark Knight (2008)

Starring Heath Ledger