Action Movie Breakdowns

THE AOBG ACTION MOVIE BREAKDOWN PAGE


 

Click a Letter to Find a Breakdown, Then Click a Poster to Read it.

(Films Listed Alphabetically / Then Sequels, Chronologically… mostly)


New Action Team 02

First thing’s fucking first, we here at AOBG would like to welcome YOU, dear reader to the wide-shouldered and wonderfully bare-chested world of ACTION. This page contains the chronicles of our time spent researching and critiquing the genre of Bad-Ass Cinema, which you can enjoy if you get a big tv and corner tv mounts to install it. A labor of our love, to be used as a window for fans of all things macho in film. Here we will give unto you our ballsy knowledge in the form of the mighty Breakdown…

New Action Team 03

What’s a Breakdown you say? Well, using the power of our impressively largeheads (and a mix-match of common internet movie review formats), we’ve put together a cornucopia template to better dissect, what we at AOBG believe to be THE necessary components that make or break great Action cinema and present them to you with our brief, witty and all-around fantastic written commentary. So, take off your shirt, flex your pecks and tent your pants, ‘cuz this time—it’s personal. ~TEAM AOBG


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THE AOBG BREAKDOWN FORMAT

Version 1.0 – May 2009 – May 2010

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]The Title, Year And A Basic 1 to 2 Sentence Plot Description
[THE EXECUTION] What’s It About, How Was It and Was It Worth It?
[HOW BAS-ASS is/are THE MAIN CHARACTER(S)?] Did The Hero(s) Pump My Nads?
[THE BODY COUNT] Who, How and How Many?: Died
[MOST SATISFYING DEATH/ASS-KICKING] Which Beat-Down or Kill Was My Favorite?
[DUDESWEAT AND MACHISMO] How Manly (GAY) Was It?
[EXPLOITATION AND MISOGYNY] How Anti-Vagina Was It?
[EPIC MOMENT AND BEST ONE-LINER] My Favorite/Most Horrifying Moment And Witticism.
[THE MORAL OF THE STORY] What Did I Learn From Watching The Movie?

Version 2.0 – June 2010 – ???

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Title, Year And A Basic 1 to 2 Sentence Plot Description
[THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THEIR BADASSITUDE] Did The Hero(s) & Villain(s) Pump My Nads?
[THE SEX AND VIOLENCE] Combines Many Of The Previous Sections Under One Roof
– DUDESWEAT AND MACHISMO
– EXPLOITATION AND MISOGYNY
– MURDER BY NUMBERS: [ ## ]
– MOST SATISFYING ASS-KICKING AND/OR DEATH
[THE BEST OF THE REST] The Epic Moment & Best Line
[THE EXECUTION] What’s It About, How Was It and Was It Worth It?
[THE MORAL OF THE STORY] What Did I Learn From Watching The Movie?


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THE AOBG ACTION MOVIE CHECKLIST

25 Actions Or Occurrences That Are Typically Featured In Action Cinema.
An X Will Be Marked If The Film Is/Was or Features The Select Topic.

[] Athlete(s) Turned “Actor” [Cast member who once made their living by way of athletics]
[] Clinging To The Outside Of A Moving Vehicle [1mph-200, as long as someone is holdin’ on]
[] Crotch Attack [Punching/Kicking/Kneeing/Racking, etc]
[] Dialogue Telling Us How Bad-Ass The Main Character(s) Is/Are [Verbal dick sucking?]
[] Ending Featuring An Ambulance, A Blanket or A Towel [Within 10 minutes of the credits]
[] Factory/Warehouse/Castle [Did a scene take place in one?]
[] Giant Explosion(s) [Buildings/Vehicles/Cities, etc]
[] Heavy Artillery [Cannon/Grenade/Flame Thrower/Missile/Rocket, etc]
[] Improvised Weapon(s) [Bottle/Chair/Frying Pan, etc]
[] Macho Mode(s) Of Transportation [Helicopter/Horse/Motorcycle, etc]
[] Main Character Sports Facial Accessory(s) [Bandana/Mask/Sunglasses, etc]
[] Manly Embrace(s) [Fist Pound/Hand-Grasp/High-Five, etc]
[] Notorious Stunt-Man Sighting [Al Leong/Sven-Ole Thorsen, etc]
[] Passage(s) Of Time Via Montage [Forming A Plan/Lock-&-Load/Training, etc]
[] Politically Fueled Plot Point(s) [Privacy/Race/War, etc]
[] Senseless Destruction Of Property [Gratuitous or unnecessary set/prop damage]
[] Shoot Out(s) and/or Sword Fight(s) [Two or more with guns/swords fighting one another]
[] Slow-Motion Finishing Move(s)/Death(s) [Was time altered to accentuate awesomeness?]
[] Stupid Authoritative Figure(s) [Chief/Superior Officer/Governor, etc]
[] Substance Usage and/or Abuse [Drinking/Smoking/Drugs]
[] Tis The Season [Holiday=Christmas/Independence Day, etc]
[] Torture Sequence(s) [Electrocution, Appendage Breaking, Water Boarding, etc]
[] Unnecessary Sequel [Official or Unofficial (Remakes Count)]
[] Vehicle Chase(s) [Boats/Cars/Carriages/Planes, etc]
[] Vigilante Justice [Does someone break the law in the name of justice?]


THE AOBG BOND BREAKDOWNS

Double-0 Seven

In much the same fashion as our Action Movie Breakdowns (located directly above), I’ve made this section specifically for my in depth look into the character and films of Bond—James, Bond. Starting from the very first live-action portrayal and spanning the 55+ year journey of the character, I plan to have an entry for every film featuring modern Action Cinema’s Greatest Hero. So, dust off your tux, pour yourself a Vesper Martini and strike up a Morland Special brand fag, it’s Bond-A-Thon time. ~RANTBO

[The Classified Intel] The Plot Crunch
[The Bond Song and Credits Sequence] My Thoughts On Just That
[Bond—James, Bond] My Thoughts On The Actor and Film Specific Portrayal
[The Bond Villain(s)] My Thoughts On The Antagonist(s)
[The Bond Girl(s)] My Thoughts On Bond’s Disposable Pleasures
[The Best Bond-Aid] My Favorite Usage Of A Gadget
[Bond’s Greatest Hits] The Body Count, Best Fight and Most Satisfying Death
[His Word Is His Bond] The Best Witticism and Double Entendre
[The Mission Debrief] My Final Thoughts On The Film, As A Whole
[The 007 Seven] A Checklist Of Seven Bondian Traits Often Featured In The Films


Click The Poster To Read The Breakdown:

(Films Are Listed Chronologically)

Casino Royale 1954 Doctor No From Russia With Love Goldfinger Thunderball Casino Royale 1967 You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty's Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever


New Action Team

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