[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]
Heroic Cops a.k.a. The Executor a.k.a . Jing wang shuang xiong (1978): Breakdown by Kain424
Two cops rail against the mob and a corrupt system through a combination of tight pants and overacting. Chow Yun-Fat pisses on someone’s face and laughs.
[THE EXECUTION]
I like watching the older films of a now-famous actor. Not just because of the differences in their beginnings to their current status, but also because it’s interesting to watch for early clues in their performances to their later success. That said, Heroic Cops is a dated mess of ideas, drama, violence and tears, all done with a low budget. The result is a film that plays more for laughs than the obvious intended dramatic effect.
Oh my god! Your asses are eating your pants!
If the tight pants, bellbottoms and platformed shoes aren’t enough to date the film to the late 1970s, than certainly the disco music, hairstyles, and camera zooms will do the trick. Someone really should have put a limit to the amount of zooms allowed for this film. I thought they’d made their quota within the first fifteen minutes, but they just kept on doing it to a point where it became far more than distracting. And speaking of distracting, I’m pretty sure there’s not a single piece of original music to be found on the damn thing’s soundtrack. It’s hard to describe the twisted feelings I had watching Chow Yun-Fat piss on a man’s face while a musical cue from Star Wars began. Think about that.
This one’s not really something I can recommend to anyone who doesn’t absolutely love either Chinese cops films or actors Chow Yun-Fat and Danny Lee. Lee does what he can here, but Chow is the one to watch. Almost a decade from his real fame, here he turns in quite the bizarre performance, and it’s one of note as it’s actually a villainous turn. Mostly, the acting is over-the-top, too silly to take seriously and too obnoxious to have enough fun with.
No, the car makes you look COOL! Don’t worry about it.
There are also some very interesting English subtitles out there for this one, making for some hilarious readings, but also some frustrating ones. On mine, there were several times when I couldn’t read what was there because of the ultra light background. I got the gist though.
Watch it for free if you can, but Heroic Cops is more of a collector’s thing.
[HOW BAD-ASS ARE THE MAIN CHARACTERS?]
Tin Fung is Inspector Sam Chan Chung Tung
For most of the movie, this guy is the harder boiled of the two cops, being portrayed as the detached asshole of the two. He keeps his cool on the job and prefers to do things by the book, but when the going gets tough, he’s the first one to take things to a physical level.
Danny Lee is Inspector Yung Pang
He plays the more emotional of the two protagonists, yelling about everything and bending the law when he sees fit. Acting as he does, he has a tendency to get his ass in trouble. Still, it’s Danny Lee, so he’s fairly bad-ass at the start. He tries to take on a mob boss all by himself. Not smart, but cool nonetheless.
Chow Yun-Fat is Ng To
This is easily the most evil character I’ve ever seen Chow play. When he’s not banging hookers and drinking in clubs with the BeeGees playing, he’s beating people nearly to death and literally pissing on them. Sure, he’s got a cute little baby face in this one, but he’s bad to the bone.
More like Curse Of The Golden ‘Shower’!
[THE BODY COUNT: 6]
A few of the kills are shown offscreen, with only the later appearances of corpses confirming the deaths. The gore is peppered throughout, but there’s not much to write home about when there’s only half a dozen kills for the entire flick. Fifty percent of them were dealt by Chow Yun-Fat, so that’s something. We get death by gunshot, stabbing, and axe chops.
[MOST SATISFYING ASS-KICKING]
Tin Fung vs. Chow Yun-Fat
This fight is pretty epic, starting out as a car chase, moving onto fists and feet, then to baseball bats and two-by-fours, and finally to axes. It all lasts several minutes and is as silly as it is violent. In a movie trying to pack an emotional punch, it sure as shit allows its message to be undercut by its own hunger for cartoonish, 70s-style violence. It’s about the only thing worth watching in the whole movie.
[DUDESWEAT AND MACHISMO]
Danny Lee and Tin Fung are so gay for one another it’s a wonder there wasn’t a wedding sequence. These guys hang out together, giggling and slapping one anothers’ shoulders so much, that it came as a complete shock to me when it turned out Danny had a wife. When they’re not goofing around “solving” cases, they’re crying and yelling in each others faces. That’s it, big fella. Just let it all out. Of the closet.
[EXPLOITATION AND MISOGYNY]
Captain Procrastination is here!
Women pretty much stay by the wayside in this one, but those that scurry into the audiences view are skanks, whores, or abused in unsaid ways. I mean that literally.
Danny Lee stumbles home drunk one night and crawls onto his sofa, proceeding from there to yell at his likely sleeping wife that he wants some noodles. After failing to win a response from his spouse, he then checks the bedroom to find her huddling in a corner, the house revealed to be trashed and her face bruised and bleeding. He tells her everything will be alright, tucks her into bed, and gets her to fall asleep. No sense going to the hospital when she’s gonna have one helluva mess to clean in the morning.
[EPIC MOMENT AND BEST ONE-LINER]
A cop with mob ties messes up and goes to meet with his underworld associates. He picks a place with lots of children around, thinking he’ll be safe. Unbeknownst to him, the guy selling ice cream to all the cheerful toddlers is -dun dun DUNNN! (Seriously, the music does that)- Evil Chow Yun-Fat!
Tin Fung’s character finally gets the upper hand against his primary tormentor, grabbing a nearby axe. He then proceeds to go all Patrick Bateman on his foe, screaming “Go tell Hell!” over and over, until he tires of his gory endeavor.
[THE MORAL OF THE STORY]
Cops do so much for us, and yet we still make them obey the same laws as everyone else. Shame on us.
[THE TAO OF CHOW: 1 outta 5]
[ ] Anti-Hero
[ ] Has Interest(s) In The Arts
[ ] Oral Fixation
[X] Performs An Overkill
[ ] Uses 2 Guns At Once
[THE CHECKLIST: 11 outta 25]
[ ] Athlete(s) Turned “Actor”
[ ] Clinging To The Outside Of A Moving Vehicle
[X] Crotch Attack
[ ] Dialogue Telling Us How Bad-Ass The Main Character(s) Is/Are
[ ] Ending Featuring An Ambulance, A Blanket or A Towel
[ ] Factory/Warehouse
[ ] Giant Explosion(s)
[ ] Heavy Artillery
[X] Improvised Weapon(s)
[ ] Macho Mode(s) Of Transportation
[X] Main Character Sports Facial Accessory(s)
[X] Manly Embrace(s)
[ ] Notorious Stunt-Man Sighting
[ ] Passage(s) Of Time Via Montage
[X] Politically Fueled Plot Point(s)
[X] Senseless Destruction Of Property
[ ] Shoot Out(s) and/or Sword Fight(s)
[ ] Slow-Motion Finishing Move(s)/Death(s)
[X] Stupid Authoritative Figure(s)
[X] Substance Usage and/or Abuse
[ ] Tis The Season
[X] Torture Sequence(s)
[ ] Unnecessary Sequel
[X] Vehicle Chase(s)
[X] Vigilante Justice
