[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Push (2009): Breakdown by Rantbo The X-Men comic’s ‘WEAPON X’ storyline, but instead of Wolverine, we follow two young Jean Greys and the Human Torch. [THE EXECUTION] I refused to see this one in the theater, based purely on the rating. I don’t pay for PG-13 unless it’s something BIG, (THE DARK KNIGHT, … Read morePush: Push It REAL Good. Dunt-DA-duntduntdunt-Dump-DA…
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Big Boss a.k.a. Fists Of Fury a.k.a. Tang shan da xiong (1971): Breakdown by Kain424 Bruce Lee finds out his boss is a drug-smuggling asshole and a murderer. Lee then proceeds to kill everyone involved. [THE EXECUTION] This is Bruce Lee’s first starring role, and one can already see the qualities that … Read moreThe Big Boss …Gets Killed
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Independence Day (1996) The Special Edition: Breakdown by Rantbo A drunken ex-pilot, an environmentalist techno-geek and the Fresh Prince save mankind from a WAR OF THE WORLDS. And successfully kill off 80s action in the wake. [THE EXECUTION] Essentially, aliens attack Earth, because they hate how awesome and united we are and it’s … Read moreID:BORE
[THE CLASSIFIED INTEL] From Russia With Love (1963): Bond Breakdown by Rantbo Number 1, the mysterious leader of the evil organization known as SPECTRE (SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion), puts two of his top agents to work on a devious project. Kronsteen aka Agent #5, devises a plan to steal a high-tech … Read moreBond Breakdown #02: From Russia With Love (1963)
[THE CLASSIFIED INTEL] Dr. No (1962): Bond Breakdown by Rantbo Bond is playing the role of the clean-up hitter by cruising down to Jamaica with orders from M to investigate the death of fellow agent John Strangways and his secretary. With a secondary objective to determine whether or not their disappearance is related to some … Read moreBond Breakdown #01: Dr. No (1962)
[THE CLASSIFIED INTEL] Casino Royale (1954): Breakdown by Rantbo Special (American) Combined Intelligence Agent Jimmy Bond is on a mission to win a game of baccarat and clean-out a Soviet Agent named Le Chiffre, thus removing his pot to piss in and forcing him to golden shower the steps of lady liberty with his commie … Read moreBond Breakdown: Special Entry: Climax! Casino Royale (1954)
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] 12 Rounds (2009): Breakdown by Kain424 A mish-mash of the plots of Ricochet, Die Hard With A Vengeance and Speed, minus anything that made those films cool. [THE EXECUTION] How can the guy who gave us such awesome action classics as Die Hard 2 and Cliffhanger possibly fuck up such an easy premise? … Read more12 Pounds of Bullshit
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li (Unleashed and Unrated Edition) (2009): Breakdown by Rantbo Robin Shou teaches a questionably hot girl to make energy balls and fire them at a corrupt business criminal in revenge for kidnapping her father. [THE EXECUTION] If Clive Barker and Ang Lee had a butt baby together, and … Read moreStreet Fighter: The Legend Of That Hot Chick From EURO TRIP—No, Not The Blonde, The Other One. Yeah, The Chick From SMALLVILLE.
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Street Fighter (1994): Breakdown by Rantbo An eccentric douche, in a red leather jumpsuit and cape, tries to take over the world. Is foiled by a French guy disguised as an American guy and a rag-tag team of goofy looking gay buttholes. Of course! [THE EXECUTION] I don’t understand why so many people … Read moreStreet Fighter: Alpha Ex Turbo Wiskey Tango Foxtrot The Movie
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Terminator (1984): Breakdown by Kain424 In the future, man and machine are nearing the end of a hard-fought war. Seeing their closing demise, the machines send an assassin back in time to kill the mother of the man that’s lead to their downfall, and the humans send Michael Biehn back to stop … Read moreThe Retro-Active Abortionator