[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Rock (1996): Breakdown by Rutledal Die Hard on Alcatraz. A chemical super-freak and a former spy have to prevent a group of mercenaries from blowing up San Francisco. [THE EXECUTION] You might have noticed that Michael Bay does not hold a high star at the AOBG office*. This is because he dedicates … Read moreThis Movie Doesn’t Just Roll, It Rocks.
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Action Of The Tiger (1957): Breakdown by Kain424 Mercenary attempts to smuggle ex-Communists and children to Greece from Communist Albania. [THE EXECUTION] Before he brought James Bond to the big screen with 1962’s Dr. No, Terence Young was a British action and thriller director. Young’s films often featured world-weary heroes reluctantly forced into … Read moreAction Of The Tiger
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] American Ninja (1985): Breakdown by Rantbo A Private in the military proves he is an army of one, as he takes on an island of arms-dealing ninjas—with his own brand of WHITE NINJA MAGIC! [THE EXECUTION] “Have you ever heard of ninjitsu, sir? The secret art of assassination. Well, according to witnesses testimony … Read moreCaucasian Ninja Magic!
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Wrecking Crew (1969): Breakdown by Kain424 Intelligence and Counter Espionage (ICE) agent Matt Helm is dispatched to find and retrieve a billion dollars in stolen gold. [THE EXECUTION] Because of the popularity of James Bond, knock-off spy films began appearing all over the place in the 1960s. The Wrecking Crew is one … Read moreThe Wrecked Movie
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Enter the Ninja (1981): Breakdown by Rutledal A westerner who has been taught in the ways of the ninja must help his friend defend his land. Retardation ensues. [THE EXECUTION] This is the movie that launched the wave of ninja movies released all trough the 80s and parts of the early 90s. It … Read moreEnter the 80s
[THE CLASSIFIED INTEL] Thunderball (1965): Bond Breakdown by Rantbo SPECTRE is back and in full force. Seeming to have abandoned his vendetta on Bond, Number 1 holds a conference bringing together all his operatives to report on the progress of their various nefarious deeds. Enter Emilio Largo,or as he is known within SPECTRE, Number 2 … Read moreBond Breakdown #04: Thunderball (1965)
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Challenge (1982) a.k.a. Sword Of The Ninja a.k.a. Equals: Breakdown by Kain424 An American boxer becomes embroiled in a Japanese conflict over ancient swords. [THE EXECUTION] After An Eye For An Eye all but invented many of the ideas, scenes, and moments of the 80s Action movie, all that was left was … Read moreEast Meets Glenn
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (2009): Breakdown by Rantbo A squad of models sport magical gimp suits to battle a dominatrix and a pre-Labor Day Ninja, in a live adaptation of TEAM AMERICA. [THE EXECUTION] “In the not too distant future…” The world will be ridden with computer graphics and day-to-day activities … Read moreG.I. Joe: The Rise Of Flashbacks
. [THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Death Wish II (1982): Breakdown by Rutledal Like Death Wish, but with more action. And rape. [THE EXECUTION] This sequel to Charles Bronson’s signature movie, Death Wish, brings Bronson, Winner and pretty much no one else back in action for another vigilantastic adventure. Since the last movie, 80s low budget action movie … Read moreWishin’ II: Rape Boogaloo
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Command Performance (2009): Breakdown by Kain424 Die Hard at a concert. An ex-biker gang member (and current rock band drummer) is trapped in a concert hall with a group of Russian terrorists who have kidnapped the President and his daughters. [THE EXECUTION] Lundgren’s had a spotty directorial record, The Defender isn’t much to … Read moreThe Power Of Rock Is Lethal