NINJVEMBER Rant here, with the first AOBG Monthly Update, to inform the masses (all 12 of you) just what the fuck it is we’re working on. And as you can tell from the above title and picture of my girlfriend*, this November will be Ninja Themed and will feature no less than 5 Breakdowns by … Read moreTHE AOBG MONTHLY UPDATE: NOVEMBER 2009
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Van Helsing (2004): Breakdown by Rantbo The guy who plays Wolverine, channels Batman, to play legendary demon slayer, Van Helsing. [THE EXECUTION] Before getting into Steven Sommers’ masterpiece, VAN HELSING, I feel I must address the prequel. Yes, this film actually has one… Van Helsing: The London Assignment (2004) Released straight to DVD, … Read moreVan Archangel
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Crow (1994): Breakdown by Rantbo Undead goth kills drug-dealing rapists with guns, knives, swords, morphine, grenades, gothic architecture and some poetic verbal nuance. [THE EXECUTION] THE CROW. A movie so good, they’ve tried remaking it 5 times. Soon to be six. And one of those times was with Edward Furlong, Tara Reid … Read moreThe Crow: “What the FUCK you all painted up for, crackhead, huh!? Halloween ain’t till manana!”
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Army Of Darkness [Theatrical Version](1992): Breakdown by Rantbo Bruce Campbell vs. The Army Of Darkness [THE EXECUTION] As this is the 3rd movie in the EVIL DEAD TRILOGY, I feel I must briefly summarize what happened previously, if for no other reason than if this breakdown happens to be read by some poor … Read moreThe MedEvil Dead
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Doom [Unrated Extended Edition](2005): Breakdown by Rantbo Space Marines battle alien monsters that killed off a colony. Sounds familiar… [THE EXECUTION] Based off of one of the Most Bad-Ass Mother-Fucking Games of ALL Fucking Time, and featuring striking similarities to James Cameron’s Masterpiece, ALIENS, the question is, how does this movie fair in … Read moreDOOooooooooM!
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Pitch Black (2000): Breakdown by Kain424 A spaceship crashes on an unknown world. After finding out the planet may be teaming with frightening and dangerous lifeforms, the survivors are forced to work together with a murderer who may or may not want to help them at all. [THE EXECUTION] With the Action stars … Read moreDiesel-Fueled Action
. [The Chalk-Outline] The Hidden (1987): Breakdown by Rutledal A cop and an FBI agent have to track down a body swapping alien on the loose in L.A. [The Execution] Based on the fact that the movie’s basic premise features Kyle MacLachlan playing a FBI agent on the hunt for a supernatural killer, a Twin … Read moreAlien Busters
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Little Tiger Of Canton (1971) a.k.a. Guang dong xiao lao hu a.k.a. The Cub Tiger From Kwang Tung: Breakdown by Kain424 A Kung Fu student struggles against his master, who thinks martial arts should never be used. [THE EXECUTION] First off, it’s important to note that the film, Master With Cracked Fingers, is … Read moreTo Fight Or Not To Fight
