![\"MagicCrystal\"](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/MagicCrystalVPA1.jpg\" "\\"MagicCrystal\\"")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Secret agents and an evil, vaguely European villain seek out a mysterious and sentient crystal that befriends a young boy.<\/p>\n
As fine of an actor as Lau may be, it’s this early and relatively simple role that I like of his the most.\u00a0 He’s pretty much one-note, a martial arts mastering supercop whose family gets involved in his adventure.\u00a0 He’s clever enough I suppose, but any character traits he may have beyond just being generally a nice guy with skills are only hinted at during his fight scenes.<\/p>\n And what fight scenes they are.\u00a0 Lau proves to be almost impossibly athletic, striking ridiculously fast and frighteningly fierce, especially in one epic fight set in a gymnasium.\u00a0 His moves are largely acrobatics, but the speed with which they are executed is as stunning as the choreography is funny.\u00a0 And it’s meant to be that way.\u00a0 Andy looks pretty awesome by the end of this one, and it’s almost a shame that, to my knowledge, he never really did anything as similar.<\/p>\n I’m not a huge fan of child actors and I doubt this kid will make a believer out of anyone.\u00a0 Still, I suppose he does a well-enough job.\u00a0 He’s certainly believable as a friendless nerd.\u00a0 But maybe I’m being harsh on him.\u00a0 It’s not like he had much more to do than sit around and talk to a glowing green rock.\u00a0 So I suppose he’s alright, but I didn’t get much out of him.<\/p>\n Yes, that’s the director of the movie.\u00a0 He’s the film’s comic relief.\u00a0 And you know what?\u00a0 He’s actually pretty funny.\u00a0 It helps that he throws pretty much every possible gag out trying to make the audience laugh at his shenanigans.\u00a0 So kudos for being more funny than annoying, dude.<\/p>\n In my favorite sequence, Pan stumbles upon several assassins trying to stealthily enter his home.\u00a0 Thinking they are thieves, he interrupts their infiltration wielding a toilet plunger.\u00a0 When one of the hard-as-nails baddies pulls out a long knife and licks the blade, Pan attempts to replicate the tactic by licking his plunger.\u00a0 So yeah, pretty funny.<\/p>\n “The policewoman who doesn’t use a gun.”<\/em><\/p>\n Of the two “Interpol” agents introduced early on, she’s the only one given a name and something to do.\u00a0 Still, she almost steals the show, kicking ass with a spear, sword and her own hands and feet.\u00a0 The former two objects she apparently keeps in a small, non-descript leather case.<\/p>\n Wisely, the filmmakers decided to keep her dialog to a minimum, letting her kung fu<\/em> skills do the talking for her.\u00a0 This, of course, pretty much makes Rothrock the reason to watch this movie.\u00a0 She fights in a flurry of bad-assery, many of the moves I only caught the third time around, and it’s damn cool.\u00a0 Like the other characters of The Magic Crystal<\/strong>, she’s a one-dimensional one, but since that dimension is a bad-ass female kicking machine, I’ll let it slide.<\/p>\n Norton continues his career of playing martial arts bad guys here, being the shadowy leader of either a worldwide criminal organization, or some kind of KGB superspy.\u00a0 I’m not actually sure.\u00a0 But he’s dubbed, allowing his naturally thick, Australian accent to be hidden and replaced by a different multi-lingual one.\u00a0 You know, to impress everyone.<\/p>\n Shockingly, Norton probably gets the most characterization of any of the characters in the film.\u00a0 We learn he’s a well-read man, has a strong enough will to fend off the alien rock’s mind-control powers, is a master of multiple kung fu styles, but his true motivations are a bit unclear.\u00a0 Does he actually work for the Russians?\u00a0 Does he want the “Jade” for himself?\u00a0 Just what exactly does he know about that rock, anyway?<\/p>\n Other than a very sweaty gym montage in the film’s opening, we get nothing.\u00a0 Sorry.<\/p>\n Though generally seen as screeching, whiny objects, the women of The Magic Crystal<\/strong> differ from one to the other. It seems to pretty much depend on what the scene requires.\u00a0 Cynthia Rothrock and Wan-Si Wong are shown as strong, capable fighters, but there other women seen around pretty much merely to show some skin (not too much, mind you).\u00a0 The character of Winnie, played by prolific actress Sharla Cheung comes close to being something of a love interest, though it never gets developed.<\/p>\n I did start noticing that everytime a woman was being seen as something of an object it was actually the objectifying man that was being shown for the shallow, perverted loser he was.\u00a0 Jing Wonh and Park-cheung Chan are generally the two men doing the most objectifying and they’re hardly the heroes or even shown in a flattering light.\u00a0 So maybe this film’s not so misogynistic.\u00a0 Then again, there is a scene (meant purely for laughs, I’m sure) where a woman is hit in the face with a baseball bat.<\/p>\n What I at first took for a kid’s movie may in fact not be, as this is rather violent.\u00a0 We see around 14 people killed onscreen with another six or so dying just out of view or in mention.\u00a0 Death is definitely an ongoing concern in the universe of The Magic Crystal<\/strong>.\u00a0 We get people strangled, thrown from roofs, stabbed in the heart, necks broken, and shot at point blank range.\u00a0 There’s also a torture scene and talk of AIDS.\u00a0 Pretty nasty over-all, though nothing that will turn your stomach. Except for that fucking rock.<\/p>\n The reason I like this fight so much is because it’s so unexpected.\u00a0 Wan-Si’s character (Pin-Pin’s mother) is never even given a name, let alone much development.\u00a0 She’s seen pretty much obsessively watching television and ignoring everything else around her.\u00a0 When the bad guys finally arrive, they think she’ll be easy prey.\u00a0 Upon surrounding her, she begins busting out her moves, proving more than a match for the hardened assassins.<\/p>\n Highlight: she leaps into the air with a split-kick, pinning two assassins (one with each leg) against the wall and then scolds the “youngsters”.<\/p>\n In classic Jing Wong fashion, The Magic Crystal<\/strong> makes a great pop culture reference in a rather hilarious moment.\u00a0 Jing Wong’s character “Pan” flees from several enemies who have invaded the small home.\u00a0 He ends up in Pin-Pin’s room, the child asking the “Jade” crystal for help.\u00a0 The crystal tells Pin-Pin to have Pan touch it, and he will be given magnificent powers and the ability to fend off the attackers.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, when the crystal grows a “finger” to bestow the powers on Pan, it so disgusts the comic relief character he passes out.\u00a0 The crystal then cloaks them all in invisibility.\u00a0 As Pan wakes up, he freaks out, breaking the spell.\u00a0 A struggle ensues and Pan lands, nose-first, on the crystal’s disgusting new digit, giving him super-strength.\u00a0 This, of course, creates the great moment.<\/p>\n Filling with energy, Pan shouts He-Man’s classic phrase (He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe<\/strong> was quite popular even in China, apparently), “I have the power!”\u00a0 This shit is why I love this movie.<\/p>\n Pin-Pin’s mother and several of the attackers of the house engage in a surprisingly epic martial arts battle, the seemingly gentle old housewife overcoming all of them.\u00a0 But then Richard Norton’s Karov shows up, besting her even though she has a weapon.\u00a0 He beats her rather brutally, all the while taunting her that “Women can only deal with their husbands.”\u00a0 But then something amazing happens, and with it, the best line in the film:<\/p>\n [flashvideo filename=videos\/CynthiaAppears.wmv.FLV \/]<\/p>\n Bet you wanna watch the whole thing now, huh?\u00a0 It’s the combination of that goofy score, the satisfactory moment, and the awesome display of fighting skills that seals the deal for me.\u00a0 This movie is a must-own.<\/p>\n While the Asian cinema market can generally be seen to be on top of things in the Action genre, there are still times when they rip off ideas, wholesale, from Hollywood.\u00a0 The Magic Crystal<\/strong> is one such film.\u00a0 Taking cues from Raiders Of The Lost Ark<\/strong> and E.T.: The Extraterrestrial<\/strong>, we get a young boy bonding with an alien being, globetrotting adventures, and ancient ruins full of bizarre booby traps and hidden messages.<\/p>\n Where this film goes with those ideas, however, I would dare to say actually improves on the formulas from which it is built.\u00a0 Lacking the budget and effects team to reproduce the scale and look of the films that inspired it, The Magic Crystal<\/strong> ups the Action, creating fantastic fight scenes, and using simple but effective cinematography to make the movie look far better than it has any right to be.\u00a0 We get a couple shootouts, a car chase, sword fights, and many epic martial arts battles.\u00a0 This is one of those hard-to-find films actually worth looking for.\u00a0 Popular Hong Kong director, Jing Wong, crafts a movie that’s entertaining on almost every level, from its humor to its Action set pieces.<\/p>\n That being said, it’s cheesy as hell.\u00a0 A talking rock? Really?\u00a0 There are so many sight gags and comic relief it’s almost too much.\u00a0 Almost.\u00a0 I think you’ll find plenty of gags worth laughing at (there is one for instance where a character has his feet and hands switched by the alien being, making for a sight so strange it’s a bit hard not to laugh), and others that work for a while, but wear out their welcome all too soon.\u00a0 And unlike in E.T.<\/strong>, I found I couldn’t care less about the kid or his magical rock.\u00a0 This is where the writing is at its most weak (and it’s pretty damn weak).\u00a0 Like I said before, of all the characters, the one most fleshed out is that of the villain.\u00a0 To be fair, Jing Wong isn’t generally known for his thought-provoking scripts.\u00a0 He just makes what he thinks the audiences want.\u00a0 And I just wanted to see some more fights.<\/p>\n Cynthia Rothrock was just starting to make a name for herself at the time of this film’s release, and while it probably wasn’t seen as a huge step forward for her career, I still think it contains some of her best work.\u00a0 Rothrock and Richard Norton had both appeared in Millionaire’s Express<\/strong>, but this time we get much more out of the pair.\u00a0 Her skills with a bowstaff and Eagle Claw Kung Fu are amazing, and Norton is quite the match for her here.\u00a0 Perhaps most surprising is young, soon-to-be-a-star Andy Lau.\u00a0 Having already appeared in a couple of the Lucky Stars films (albeit in minor roles), he was just starting to make a name for himself as well.\u00a0 But his fight scenes contain so much energy and speed (along with plenty of comic relief), he almost gives Jackie Chan a run for his money.<\/p>\n And that’s really it.\u00a0 One part E.T.<\/strong>, one part Indiana Jones<\/strong> movie, plenty of slapstick comedy, and a ton of awesome fight scenes.\u00a0 Sure, there are plenty of weird, what-the-fuck moments, but I think that only adds to it’s overall charm.\u00a0 You get aliens, kung fu, ice bullets and Richard Norton. All in one fairly family-friendly bundle.\u00a0 Try and track this one down.<\/p>\n Even space-rock\/alien computers need friends.\u00a0 And Chinese kid’s movies are fucking violent.<\/p>\n [THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Magic Crystal a.k.a. Mo fei cui (1986): Breakdown by Kain424 Secret agents and an evil, vaguely European villain seek out a mysterious and sentient crystal that befriends a young boy. [THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THEIR BADASSITUDE] THE HEROES: Andy Lau is Andy Lo, The Eagle As fine of an actor as … Read moreAMB: THE MAGIC CRYSTAL<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[108,389,1001,1377],"class_list":["post-7940","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-andy-lau","tag-cynthia-rothrock","tag-magic-crystal","tag-richard-norton"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7940","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7940"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7940\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7940"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7940"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7940"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"Andy](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/61.jpg\" "\\"Andy")
<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nAndy Lau<\/span> is Andy Lo, The Eagle<\/span><\/h3>\n
![\"Pin-Pin\"](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/102.jpg\" "\\"Pin-Pin\\"")
<\/p>\nBin Bin<\/span> is Pin-Pin<\/span><\/h3>\n
![\"I](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/14.jpg\" "\\"I")
<\/p>\nJing Wong<\/span> is Pang-Chuang-Chiu “Pan” a.k.a. Snooker<\/span><\/h3>\n
![\"I](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/15.jpg\" "\\"I")
<\/p>\n![\"Cynthia's](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/131.jpg\" "\\"Cynthia's")
<\/p>\nCynthia Rothrock<\/span> is Interpol Agent Cindy Morgan<\/span><\/h3>\n
![\"Uh,](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/81.jpg\" "\\"Uh,")
<\/p>\nTHE VILLAIN:<\/span><\/h3>\n
![\"Cat](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/121.jpg\" "\\"Cat")
<\/p>\nRichard Norton<\/span> is Karov, International Man Of Mystery
\n<\/span><\/h3>\n[THE SEX AND VIOLENCE]<\/span><\/strong><\/strong><\/h2>\n
DUDESWEAT AND MACHISMO:<\/span><\/h3>\n
EXPLOITATION AND MISOGYNY:<\/span><\/h3>\n
MURDER BY NUMBERS: [ 14-20 ]<\/span><\/h3>\n
MOST SATISFYING ASS-KICKING:<\/span><\/h3>\n
Wan-Si Wong vs. Assassins<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
![\"Sword](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/41.jpg\" "\\"Sword")
<\/p>\n![\"Take](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/31.jpg\" "\\"Take")
<\/p>\n[THE BEST OF THE REST]<\/span><\/strong><\/strong><\/h2>\n
EPIC MOMENT:<\/span><\/h3>\n
![\"I](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/51.jpg\" "\\"I")
<\/p>\nBEST LINE:<\/span><\/h3>\n
[THE EXECUTION]<\/span><\/strong><\/strong><\/h2>\n
![\"Dun-dun-DUN!\"](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/71.jpg\" "\\"Dun-dun-DUN!\\"")
<\/p>\n![\"Can](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/111.jpg\" "\\"Can")
<\/p>\n![\"Your](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/21.jpg\" "\\"Your")
<\/p>\n[THE MORAL OF THE STORY]<\/span><\/strong><\/strong><\/h2>\n
[THE AOBG ACTION CHECKLIST]<\/span><\/strong><\/strong><\/h1>\n
[X] Athlete(s) Turned \u201cActor\u201d
\n[\u00a0 ] Clinging To The Outside Of A Moving Vehicle
\n[X] Crotch Attack
\n[X] Dialogue Telling Us How Bad-Ass The Main Character(s) Is\/Are
\n[\u00a0 ] Ending Featuring An Ambulance, A Blanket or A Towel
\n[X] Factory\/Warehouse\/Castle [ancient caves<\/span>]
\n[\u00a0 ] Giant Explosion(s)
\n[\u00a0 ] Heavy Artillery
\n[X] Improvised Weapon(s) [umbrella<\/span>]
\n[\u00a0 ] Macho Mode(s) Of Transportation
\n[X] Main Character Sports Facial Accessory(s)
\n[\u00a0 ] Manly Embrace(s)
\n[\u00a0 ] Notorious Stunt-Man Sighting
\n[X] Passage(s) Of Time Via Montage
\n[\u00a0 ] Politically Fueled Plot Point(s)
\n[X] Senseless Destruction Of Property
\n[X] Shoot Out(s) and\/or Sword Fight(s)
\n[X] Slow-Motion Finishing Move(s)\/Death(s)
\n[X] Stupid Authoritative Figure(s)
\n[\u00a0 ] Substance Usage and\/or Abuse
\n[\u00a0 ] Tis The Season
\n[X] Torture Sequence(s)
\n[\u00a0 ] Unnecessary Sequel
\n[X] Vehicle Chase(s)
\n[\u00a0 ] Vigilante Justice<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n[TOTAL: 12 outta 25]<\/span><\/strong><\/strong><\/h1>\n
![\"Yes,](\"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/Ice.jpg\" "\\"Yes,")
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"