{"id":1439,"date":"2009-10-08T22:36:27","date_gmt":"2009-10-09T04:36:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/main\/?p=1439"},"modified":"2009-10-08T22:36:27","modified_gmt":"2009-10-09T04:36:27","slug":"aliens-a-facehugging-love-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/aliens-a-facehugging-love-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Aliens: A Facehugging Love Story"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Aliens<\/p>\n

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

Aliens [Director’s Cut](1986): Breakdown by Kain424<\/span><\/h3>\n

A team of tough-as-nails Space Marines head to a colony that’s been wiped out due to space aliens.\u00a0 Awesome ensues.<\/p>\n

[THE EXECUTION]<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

Alien<\/strong> was a landmark in film, successfully combining science fiction ideas with horror and monster movie conventions, it still holds up today as a masterpiece.\u00a0 So how does one follow that act?\u00a0 They turn it into an Action movie.<\/p>\n

\"Aliens12\"<\/p>\n

Fresh off the success of The Terminator<\/a>, James Cameron quickly became a hot commodity.\u00a0 He wrote the screenplay for Rambo: First Blood Part II<\/a> and the sequel to Alien<\/strong>.\u00a0 Soon enough, Cameron was put in the director’s chair, and damn it did he deliver.<\/p>\n

Aliens<\/strong> brings together a group of bad-asses and thrusts them into a situation where all their awesome expertise means next to nothing.\u00a0 With our protagonist, Ellen Ripley, we go from being completely comfortable and safe in the company of the marines, to being outmatched, claustrophobic and frightened in the same company.\u00a0 The aliens this time around aren’t the monster looming in the shadows, but the screeching hordes outside the door.\u00a0 Cameron uses the safety in numbers principle against itself, showing that a lone little girl is probably more safe than the company of men armed to the teeth.<\/p>\n

\"Alines1\"<\/p>\n

The movie is beautifully shot, and the action is as suspenseful as it is fast-paced.\u00a0 Cameron makes full use of James Horner’s score to up the ante, making every moment interesting.\u00a0 The aliens themselves are almost never seen, even while getting slain.\u00a0 Somehow, Cameron makes it all work.\u00a0 Many people consider this to be the greatest sequel ever made, and it’s certainly worthy of such acumen, having little to no faults.<\/p>\n

While the first film was metaphorically about a giant black space-cock chasing the vulnerable around tiny corridors, Aliens<\/strong> chooses to go a different route.\u00a0 This one is less about dicks and more about chicks.\u00a0 Chicks and families.\u00a0 Any person or character without the best interests of the group in mind is immediately killed or punished in some way.\u00a0 Ripley’s recently found out that during her hypersleep, her daughter has aged and died.\u00a0 Now she not only has a chance at gaining a new daughter, but also a possible candidate for a husband.\u00a0 And the focus from the aliens has shifted from cocks to cunts, as now the characters are being dragged away and held against their will while a vagina with lobster legs forces itself onto their faces.\u00a0 Now the vaginas impregnate them!\u00a0 It’s a scary thought.<\/p>\n

\"Aliens<\/p>\n

With more attitude than the toughest juvenile detention center our characters are fortunately all “absolutely bad-ass.”\u00a0 Toting giant guns that extend from their crotches, representing the mighty force of Earth’s metaphorical dick. The power of oppression boiling from within to be unleashed on threat of alien femininity and the potential pussification of the universe. The battle of which these two opposing forces rage is surely one for the record books, as win or lose, these men, women and alien’s trials make for one truly kick ass ride and one of the greatest action films ever made.<\/p>\n

[HOW BAD-ASS ARE THE MAIN CHARACTERS?]<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

“I\u2019m ready, man, check it out. I am the ultimate bad-ass! State of the bad-ass art! You do not<\/em> want to fuck with me! Check it out! Hey Ripley, don\u2019t worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Whoa! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phase-plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks\u2026”<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Ripley\"<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sigourney Weaver is Ellen Ripley<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

Weaver pulls a Linda Hamilton from Terminator 2: Judgement Day<\/strong> and returns as an utter bad-ass woman.\u00a0 She is steely, determined, and forthright.\u00a0 All this while still managing to allow her character some vulnerability, Weaver makes Ripley all the more human and realistic.\u00a0 She is a character we can all relate to and feel for, having been fucked over by her employers after surviving the first film, she is now just trying to move on with her life, but the fear and empathy she has for those getting into a situation, like she’s endured, overcome her.<\/p>\n

\"Hicks\"<\/p>\n

Michael Biehn is Corporal Dwayne Hicks<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

Hicks is similar to Biehn’s character of Kyle Reese from The Terminator<\/strong>, but perhaps a bit more hard-edged and mature.\u00a0 He’s a man on his own but remains in a group.\u00a0 His quiet cool sensibilities stand out among the aggressive sort with which he belongs and keep his mind in check during tense situations.\u00a0 Hicks is a quick thinker who seemingly always has a back-up plan. Also, he fucking SLEEPS through the scariest shit-your-pants drop-ship atmosphere entry sequence ever performed.<\/p>\n

\"Bishop\"<\/p>\n

Lance Henrickson is Bishop<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

The Space Marines’ science officer and friendly android.\u00a0 Less a character than a statement on our dependence on technology, he is the essence of robotic reassurance. Plus, he can take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’.<\/p>\n

\"Vasquez\"<\/p>\n

Jenette Goldstein is Private Vasquez<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

Vasquez is THE tough-ass female member of the marines.\u00a0 She has more balls than most of the men, and may or may not have feelings for Pvt. Drake. On second thought, no way. She’s a total dyke. I mean, has to be, right? Yeah.<\/p>\n

\"Hudson\"<\/p>\n

Bill Paxton is Private Hudson<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

He is the loud-mouth of the group.\u00a0 A tendency toward joking around and a slightly disobedient behavior-streak makes him a bit of a hardcase as well. An emotional roller-coaster, his level of badassitude seems prevalent on the intensity of whatever potential freak-out hill he is climbing.<\/p>\n

[THE BODY COUNT: 170]<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"Just<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

The entire colony of Hadley’s Hope dies off, save for one person.\u00a0 After that, there are 13 deaths onscreen and a shit ton of aliens killed.\u00a0 We get explosions, fire, gunshot, exposure to acid blood, and even death from being clawed apart.\u00a0 Of course, there are also the obligatory chestbursting sequences.\u00a0 It’s as gruesome as it is fun.<\/p>\n

[MOST SATISFYING DEATH]<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"Burke<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Burke.\u00a0 Who doesn’t hate this guy?\u00a0 Played to smarmy perfection by Paul Reiser, he is a bureaucratic, backstabbing sleazeball.\u00a0 After betraying our main characters for the last time, he finally gets the xenomorph kiss of death he so justly deserves.<\/p>\n

[DUDESWEAT AND MACHISMO]<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

Despite the story following a group of marines, there isn’t very much gayness to proceedings outside the wake-up scene where they all climb out of their sleep pods dressed only in their undergarments.\u00a0 A short-haired Sigourney Weaver and Jenette Goldstein as Vasquez may cause you to have conflicted sexual feelings, but that about wraps it up.<\/p>\n

\"Aliens2\"<\/p>\n

This is an 80s Action flick that dares to hint at a love story.\u00a0 Oh well.\u00a0 That’s Cameron for ya.<\/p>\n

[EXPLOITATION AND MISOGYNY]<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"Put<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

One thing Aliens<\/strong> lacks in is sexist stereotypes.\u00a0 Taking place well in the future, this only makes sense.\u00a0 Still, it’s worth mentioning all the strong female roles in the movie.\u00a0 From Vasquez to Ripley to Newt, we have chicks who seem at times to be even tougher than their male counterparts.\u00a0 Something could be said for having the lead antagonist a female, but she’s actually in charge of the show.\u00a0 And how many times are chicks the primary villains anyhow?\u00a0 Chalk this one up in the remarkably progressive 80s Action film category.<\/p>\n

[EPIC MOMENT AND BEST ONE-LINER]<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

I’m gonna cheat a bit here, as the film’s epic moment also contains a one-liner.<\/p>\n

All seems lost, as the Queen Alien has boarded the Sulaco, Ripley off hiding somewhere, Newt being chased about, Bishop having been torn in half, and Hicks out of commission.\u00a0 Suddenly Ripley appears in the power loader, a mechanized guardian angel.\u00a0 She takes a few steps forward, stares down the monster going after her surrogate daughter and sneers…<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"GAFHYB\"<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Get away from her, you BITCH!”<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Great though that is, as I said before, I’m cheating.\u00a0 My favorite line is from Hicks.\u00a0 After being issued an order to turn in their bullets, with their guns now useless, Michael Biehn pulls out an old-fashioned (this film takes place in the future, remember) pump-action shotgun.\u00a0 In a film titled Aliens<\/strong>, the line he says next is almost breaking-the-fourth-wall-clever.\u00a0 It’s certainly cool.<\/p>\n

\"Close<\/p>\n

“I like to keep this handy<\/strong><\/span>\u2014<\/span>for close encounters.[CLACK-CLACK!]”<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

[THE MORAL OF THE STORY]<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

Corporations are soulless and evil and all that’s important in life is family.<\/p>\n

[THE CHECKLIST: 16 outta 25]<\/span><\/h2>\n

[\u00a0 ] Athlete(s) Turned \u201cActor\u201d
\n[X] Clinging To The Outside Of A Moving Vehicle
\n[\u00a0 ] Crotch Attack
\n[X] Dialogue Telling Us How Bad-Ass The Main Character(s) Is\/Are
\n[\u00a0 ] Ending Featuring An Ambulance, A Blanket or A Towel
\n[X] Factory\/Warehouse
\n[X] Giant Explosion(s)
\n[X] Heavy Artillery
\n[X] Improvised Weapon(s)
\n[X] Macho Mode(s) Of Transportation
\n[X] Main Character Sports Facial Accessory(s)
\n[X] Manly Embrace(s)
\n[\u00a0 ] Notorious Stunt-Man Sighting
\n[X] Passage(s) Of Time Via Montage
\n[X] Politically Fueled Plot Point(s)
\n[X] Senseless Destruction Of Property
\n[X] Shoot Out(s) and\/or Sword Fight(s)
\n[\u00a0 ] Slow-Motion Finishing Move(s)\/Death(s)
\n[X] Stupid Authoritative Figure(s)
\n[X] Substance Usage and\/or Abuse
\n[\u00a0 ] Tis The Season
\n[\u00a0 ] Torture Sequence(s)
\n[X] Unnecessary Sequel [Alien 3]
\n[\u00a0 ] Vehicle Chase(s)
\n[\u00a0 ] Vigilante Justice<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"Game<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n

“Game Over, Man. Game Over.”<\/span><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/h1>\n

Aliens (1986) \u00a9 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation and 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Aliens [Director’s Cut](1986): Breakdown by Kain424 A team of tough-as-nails Space Marines head to a colony that’s been wiped out due to space aliens.\u00a0 Awesome ensues. [THE EXECUTION] Alien was a landmark in film, successfully combining science fiction ideas with horror and monster movie conventions, it still holds up today as a masterpiece.\u00a0 … Read moreAliens: A Facehugging Love Story<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1439","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1439","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1439"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1439\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1439"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1439"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1439"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}