{"id":14265,"date":"2012-02-17T02:05:09","date_gmt":"2012-02-17T09:05:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/main\/?p=14265"},"modified":"2012-02-17T02:05:09","modified_gmt":"2012-02-17T09:05:09","slug":"why-do-you-love-movies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/why-do-you-love-movies\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Do You Love Movies?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Amigos, it’s your buddy Rant with an article I recently threw together, in response to one I read a couple of days ago… HERE<\/a>. Which in turn was a response to another article…HERE<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Which, if you choose not to read those, the sum-up is to create a list of reasons that answer the question: Why do you love movies?<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

So, in keeping with the whole ‘chain letter’ idea, I myself decided to answer the question: <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Rantbo’s<\/span>: Why Do I Love Movies?<\/span><\/strong><\/h1>\n

\"Hogan\"<\/p>\n

Because of the feeling I get walking into a movie theater<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Because Freddy Krueger posing as a hot nurse made my balls drop (this explains a lot about what’s wrong with me…)<\/p>\n

Because Forrest Gump almost made me cry<\/p>\n

Because King Aragorn almost made me cry, again<\/p>\n

Because they gave me Nora Diniro<\/p>\n

Because through them I’ve seen countless countries, terrains, cultures, animals and wonders I would have otherwise never been able to<\/p>\n

Because they combine all the best art forms into one<\/p>\n

Because millions of felonies are committed every day in order to keep forgotten ones alive<\/p>\n

Because home video is a collector’s paradise<\/p>\n

Because they make violence and sex, legal and safe<\/p>\n

Because they make sugar and salt taste even better<\/p>\n

Because of the literally countless conversations they’ve inspired<\/p>\n

Because of the literally countless arguments they’ve caused<\/p>\n

Because even in the year 2011, films like The Artist could still be made and appreciated<\/p>\n

\"The<\/p>\n

Because of squibs<\/p>\n

Because of the steady-cam<\/p>\n

Because of black and white photography<\/p>\n

Because of technicolor and sound<\/p>\n

Because of practical effects<\/p>\n

Because of the Wilhelm Scream<\/p>\n

Because ‘Yippee Ki-yay, Mother Fucker’ and even ‘Yippee Ki-yay, Mister Falcon’<\/p>\n

Because Chang Cheh made martial arts epic<\/p>\n

Because Craig R. Baxley hates glass<\/p>\n

Because David Fincher is a perfectionist<\/p>\n

Because Edgar Wright is such a nerd<\/p>\n

Because George Lucas can’t ruin the magic of Star Wars–no matter how hard he keeps trying to…<\/p>\n

Because Guy Ritchie made crime cool again<\/p>\n

Because Howard Hawks mastered every genre he attempted<\/p>\n

Because Jackie Chan also hates glass<\/p>\n

Because James Cameron made sequels better than their originals<\/p>\n

Because Ji-woon Kim has yet to make something less than stellar<\/p>\n

Because John Carpenter scored many of his own films<\/p>\n

Because John Hughes defined and captured the ’80s at the same time<\/p>\n

Because John McTiernan understood the importance of the ‘geography of the scene’<\/p>\n

Because John Woo watched Le Samoura\u00ef and Wild Bunch and said ‘What if?…’<\/p>\n

\"Woo\"<\/p>\n

Because Kevin Smith worked at a convenience store<\/p>\n

Because Luc Besson likes strong (and young) women<\/p>\n

Because Michael Bay is so awful, he makes me appreciate every other director that much more<\/p>\n

Because Michael Curtiz is the most known, unknown director of all time<\/p>\n

Because Paul Verhoeven mixed extreme violence, nudity and science-fiction to create the greatest satires of western culture ever<\/p>\n

Because Quentin Tarantino worked at a video store<\/p>\n

Because Robert Rodriguez owned a turtle, and a guitar<\/p>\n

Because Sam Peckinpah made violence an art-form<\/p>\n

Because Sergio Leone understood the magic of anticipation better than anyone ever has, or ever will<\/p>\n

Because Sidney Lumet turned dialogue into gunfire<\/p>\n

Because Steven Spielberg gave us the Blockbuster<\/p>\n

Because Walter Hill made A+, B Movies possible<\/p>\n

Because Wes Craven read the Los Angeles Times<\/p>\n

Because The Cohen Brothers know casting is half the battle<\/p>\n

Because of Bob Simmons, Bill Cummings, Vic Armstrong and Al Leong<\/p>\n

Because of Peter Hunt’s editing<\/p>\n

Because of Shane Black’s writing<\/p>\n

Because of Ennio Morricone, John Williams and Jerry Goldsmith<\/p>\n

Because of Drew Struzan<\/p>\n

\"Struzan\"<\/p>\n

Because of Stan Winston Studios & KNB EFX Group<\/p>\n

Because of Bogie & Bacall, Hepburn & Tracy, Astaire & Rogers, Lake & Ladd<\/p>\n

Because of Carpenter & Russell, Tarantino & Jackson, Scorsese & DeNiro, Raimi & Campbell, Woo & Yun-Fat<\/p>\n

Because of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s one-liners<\/p>\n

Because of Bruce ‘Don’t call me Ash’ Campbell’s chin (and the fact he has to call himself that)<\/p>\n

Because of Bruce Lee’s chicken noises<\/p>\n

Because of Bruce Willis’ smirk<\/p>\n

Because of Chow Yun-Fat’s charisma<\/p>\n

Because of Christian Slater’s Nicholson-esq drawl<\/p>\n

Because of Christopher Walken’s pauses<\/p>\n

Because of Chuck Norris’ facial hair<\/p>\n

Because of Clint Eastwood’s squint<\/p>\n

Because of Cynthia Rothrock’s scorpion kicks<\/p>\n

Because of Ginger Roger’s legs<\/p>\n

Because of Grocho Marx’s wit<\/p>\n

Because of Humphrey Bogart’s cynical calmness<\/p>\n

\"Bogie\"<\/p>\n

Because of Jack Nicholson’s grin<\/p>\n

Because of Jackie Chan’s hospital bills<\/p>\n

Because of James Cagney’s swagger<\/p>\n

Because of James Spader’s sleazy-coolness<\/p>\n

Because of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s splits<\/p>\n

Because of Katharine Hepburn’s mannerisms<\/p>\n

Because of Kane Hodder’s breathing<\/p>\n

Because of Mel Gibson’s intensity<\/p>\n

Because of Nic Cage’s eccentrics<\/p>\n

Because of Patrick Swayze’s mullet<\/p>\n

Because of Peter Lorre’s creepy voice<\/p>\n

Because of Rita Hayworth’s voluptuous–hair<\/p>\n

Because of Robert Mitchum’s sleepy-eyed indifference<\/p>\n

Because of Samuel L. Jackson’s angry shouting<\/p>\n

Because of Sean Connery’s accent<\/p>\n

Because of Shintar\u00f4 Katsu’s laugh<\/p>\n

Because of Steven Seagal’s ponytail<\/p>\n

Because of Sylvester Stallone’s mumbling<\/p>\n

Because of Veronica Lake’s smoldering peek-a-boo stare<\/p>\n

\"Veronica\"<\/p>\n

Because Marc came back for Ho (A Better Tomorrow, 1986)<\/p>\n

Because ‘There’s no crying in baseball!’ (A League of Their Own, 1992)<\/p>\n

Because Richy Vanderlow sang for his wife, Lucille (A Life Less Ordinary, 1997)<\/p>\n

Because of Glen’s wet dream (A Nightmare On Elm Street, 1984)<\/p>\n

Because of motherly instincts (Aliens, 1986)<\/p>\n

Because of Tiny Dancer (Almost Famous, 1999)<\/p>\n

Because Lester rules (American Beauty, 1999)<\/p>\n

Because of Huey Lewis and the Newspapers (American Psycho, 2000)<\/p>\n

Because Brick kills a guy (Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy, 2004)<\/p>\n

Because Bluto had enough of that guitar (Animal House, 1978)<\/p>\n

Because of ‘The Triple Lindy’ (Back To School ,1986)<\/p>\n

Because Marty B Goode at guitar (Back To The Future, 1985)<\/p>\n

Because of impromptu dance numbers (Bande \u00e0 Part, 1964)<\/p>\n

Because Charlie showed me the life of the mind (Barton Fink, 1991)<\/p>\n

Because ‘It’s all in the reflexes’ (Big Trouble In Little China, 1986)<\/p>\n

Because lust can open any locked door (Body Heat, 1981)<\/p>\n

Because the bloodline ends with Longshanks (Braveheart, 1995)<\/p>\n

Because Amilyn dies–? (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, 1992)<\/p>\n

Because ‘The other three are figments of your fucking imagination!’ (Chasing Amy, 1997)<\/p>\n

Because Chucky will teach you not to fuck with him! (Child’s Play, 1988)<\/p>\n

<\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong>Because J.J. was nosy (Chinatown, 1974)<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"J.J.'s<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n

Because Frank Shirley is a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit (Christmas Vacation, 1989)<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Because “You’re not allowed to rent here anymore!” (Clerks., 1994)<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Because of the best Lock ‘n Load scene ever (Commando, 1985)<\/h3>\n

Because Conan punched out a camel (Conan The Barbarian, 1982)<\/h3>\n

Because of the hottest kiss ever (Crank: High Voltage, 2009)<\/p>\n

Because of that showdown for the soul (Crossroads, 1986)<\/p>\n

Because Gibson makes Jesus look like a pussy (Cyborg, 1989)<\/p>\n

Because of the greatest wheelchair race of all time (Days Of Thunder, 1990)<\/p>\n

Because Kurt Russell breaks the forth wall (Death Proof, 2007)<\/p>\n

Because Frankenstein swerved right at the hospital (Death Race 2000, 1975)<\/p>\n

Because I didn’t see that shark attack coming (Deep Blue Sea, 1999)<\/p>\n

Because of how McClain escapes the roof (Die Hard, 1988)<\/p>\n

Because “You’ve gotta ask yourself a question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?” (Dirty Harry, 1971)<\/p>\n

Because of the moment Django finally “raises the dead” (Django, 1966)<\/p>\n

Because Milton never disrobes before a gun fight (Drive Angry, 2011)<\/p>\n

Because of the most annoying sound in the world (Dumb & Dumber, 1994)<\/p>\n

Because of that ass shot (Entrapment, 1999)<\/p>\n

Because of “Bangkok rules” (Escape From L.A., 1996)<\/p>\n

Because the king rides again (Excalibur, 1981)<\/p>\n

Because of those three seconds when Troy exits his car (Face\/Off, 1997)<\/p>\n

Because “…now you’re gonna die, wearing that stupid little hat.” (Falling Down, 1993)<\/p>\n

Because of that pool scene. You know the one (Fast Times At Ridgemont High, 1982)<\/p>\n

Because the Badass dies (Feast, 2005)<\/p>\n

Because Cameron killed the car (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, 1986)<\/p>\n

Because ‘Jack’ kicked his own ass (Fight Club, 1999)<\/p>\n

\"Jack\"<\/p>\n

Because “There’s a putrid, rotting corpse of a dead whore stuck in the springs of the bed.” (Four Rooms, 1995)<\/p>\n

Because “It’s the Staypuft Marshmellow Man” (Ghost Busters, 1984)<\/p>\n

Because of Michael Myers sit-up technique (Halloween, 1978)<\/p>\n

Because of the look on Tony’s face after he kills his boss (Hard Boiled, 1992)<\/p>\n

Because “I love my dead, gay son!” (Heathers, 1989)<\/p>\n

Because they ARE unappreciated scholars. And snobs. (High Fidelity, 2000)<\/p>\n

Because to me–there is only one (Highlander, 1986)<\/p>\n

Because the greatest flash mob turned real mob (Hot Rod, 2007)<\/p>\n

Because she would have saved him (House Of Flying Daggers, 2004)<\/p>\n

Because of the triple head-shot (Infernal Affairs, 2002)<\/p>\n

Because the Jew hunter gets his (Inglourious Basterds, 2009)<\/p>\n

Because of the computer simulated cliches (Jason X, 2001)<\/p>\n

Because Big Ern wins (Kingpin, 1996)<\/p>\n

Because of Ordinary World by Duran Duran (Layer Cake, 2004)<\/p>\n

Because it’s “Not to be” (Last Action Hero, 1993)<\/p>\n

Because of L\u00e9on’s final gift to Matilda (L\u00e9on, 1994)<\/p>\n

Because beer is to J.J. what spinach is to Popeye (Lone Wolf McQuade, 1983)<\/p>\n

Because He-Man has the power (Masters Of The Universe, 1987)<\/p>\n

Because of the ace of spades (Maverick, 1994)<\/p>\n

Because McBain takes down a plane–with a pistol (McBain, 1991)<\/p>\n

Because Hunt’s face-mask charade and escape (Mission: Impossible II, 2000)<\/p>\n

Because Hoover will pick you up, burn your house, fuck your wife, and kill your dog (Mulholland Falls, 1996)<\/p>\n

Because Barney chose drinking and girls (My Blue Heaven, 1990)<\/p>\n

Because Howard Beale is mad as Hell (Network, 1976)<\/p>\n

Because Tracy saved Bond (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, 1969)<\/p>\n

[flashvideo filename=videos\/OHMSS.avi.FLV \/]<\/p>\n

Because they brought two too many (Once Upon A Time In The West, 1968)<\/p>\n

Because Tequila! (Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, 1985)<\/p>\n

Because of Captain Jack’s intro (Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl, 2003)<\/p>\n

Because of Dutch’s warcry (Predator, 1987)<\/p>\n

Because Howard brought a woman to orgasm on the radio (Private Parts, 1997)<\/p>\n

Because “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.” (Pulp Fiction, 1994)<\/p>\n

Because Harry taught me to ‘Talk hard.’ (Pump Up The Volume, 1990)<\/p>\n

Because Indy brought a gun to a sword fight (Raiders Of The Lost Ark, 1981)<\/p>\n

Because that ‘Wop’ didn’t (The Untouchables, 1987)<\/p>\n

Because of how Rambo seals his wound (Rambo III, 1988)<\/p>\n

Because of that inexplicable candy dish (Raw Deal, 1986)<\/p>\n

Because of the Mexican standoff to end all Mexican standoffs (Reservoir Dogs, 1992)<\/p>\n

Because pain may not hurt, but throat-rips sure beg to differ (Road House, 1989)<\/p>\n

Because of the overkill (RoboCop, 1987)<\/p>\n

Because Rocky owes those steps (Rocky, 1976)<\/p>\n

Because “Hail, Satan!” (Rosemary’s Baby, 1968)<\/p>\n

Because they didn’t know who they were fucking with (Scarface, 1983)<\/p>\n

Because of what’s in the fucking box (Se7en, 1995)<\/p>\n

Because of all the powers of Hell! (Sleeping Beauty, 1959)<\/p>\n

Because of that kiss (Spider-Man, 2002)<\/p>\n

Because Ricco stops being stupid and gets with Diz (Starship Troopers, 1997)<\/p>\n

Because “It’s all gusshie” (Super, 2010)<\/p>\n

\"Page\"<\/p>\n

Because of how Lucky Garnett got Penny Carroll her job back (Swing Time, 1936)<\/p>\n

Because everybody’s gone surfin’. Surfin’ U.S.A. (Teen Wolf, 1985)<\/p>\n

Because of the best reveal in cinematic history (yes, even better than Indy or Bond) (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 1990)<\/p>\n

Because the Yankees can take their apology and their trophy and shove ’em straight up their ass (The Bad News Bears, 1976)<\/p>\n

Because this is not ‘Nam–there are rules (The Big Lebowski, 1998)<\/p>\n

Because Jake takes off his shades (The Blues Brothers, 1980)<\/p>\n

Because that cat is definitely dead (The Boondock Saints, 1999)<\/p>\n

Because I know all there is to know about… (The Crying Game, 1992)<\/p>\n

Because of that great magic trick (The Dark Knight, 2008)<\/p>\n

Because it’s head-spinningly creepy (The Exorcist, 1973)<\/p>\n

Because of the dance of the dinner rolls (The Gold Rush, 1925)<\/p>\n

Because of the greatest standoff ever filmed (The Good, The Bad, The Ugly., 1966)<\/p>\n

Because “Oh, wow!” indeed (The Goonies, 1985)<\/p>\n

Because of the grand interruption (The Graduate, 1967)<\/p>\n

Because the ol’ 96er (The Great Outdoors, 1988)<\/p>\n

Because of a truck and a hard place (The Hitcher, 1986)<\/p>\n

Because “Feed her!” (The Human Centipede (First Sequence), 2009)<\/p>\n

Because of college girls in trouble (The Kentucky Fried Movie, 1977)<\/p>\n

Because Joe Hallenbeck is a man of his word (The Last Boy Scout, 1991)<\/p>\n

Because you can’t kill Mitch–mother fucker’s (The Long Kiss Goodnight, 1996)<\/p>\n

Because the Hobbits bow to no one (The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King, 2003)<\/p>\n

Because Neo IS the one (The Matrix, 1999)<\/p>\n

Because of a death penalty I can fully agree with (The Meaning Of Life, 1983)<\/p>\n

Because “Wolfman’s got nards” (The Monster Squad, 1987)<\/p>\n

Because it ain’t over till the creepy girl crawls outta the TV (The Ring, 2002)<\/p>\n

Because Squints is a little pervert (The Sandlot, 1993)<\/p>\n

Because of subway drafts and frilly dresses (The Seven Year Itch, 1955)<\/p>\n

Because the T-800 is a machine of his word (The Terminator, 1984)<\/p>\n

Because I did not expect that chest trap (The Thing, 1982)<\/p>\n

Because like that–he was gone (The Usual Suspects, 1995)<\/p>\n

Because of the wicker man (The Wicker Man, 1973)<\/p>\n

Because Nada is all outta bubblegum (They Live, 1988)<\/p>\n

Because this one goes to eleven (This Is Spinal Tap, 1984)<\/p>\n

Because Slim taught me how to whistle (To Have And Have Not, 1944)<\/p>\n

Because it WAS the real Quade (Total Recall, 1990)<\/p>\n

Because Rooster fills his hands (True Grit, 1969)<\/p>\n

Because Vincenzo Coccotti ends his case of killer abstinence (True Romance, 1993)<\/p>\n

Because “Good day to you, madam.” (Uncle Buck, 1989)<\/p>\n

<\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong> <\/strong>Because of Bohemian Rhapsody (Wayne’s World, 1992)
\n<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"Popcorn\"<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n

And because the second I post this list I’m going to think of another dozen or so reasons… and that’s pretty fucking awesome.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

<\/strong><\/h3>\n

In temporary closing–Why Do You Love Movies?<\/a><\/strong><\/h3>\n

~RANT<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Amigos, it’s your buddy Rant with an article I recently threw together, in response to one I read a couple of days ago… HERE. Which in turn was a response to another article…HERE. Which, if you choose not to read those, the sum-up is to create a list of reasons that answer the question: Why … Read moreWhy Do You Love Movies?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[2072],"class_list":["post-14265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-why-do-you-love-movies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14265"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14265\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}