{"id":10162,"date":"2011-01-04T17:31:48","date_gmt":"2011-01-05T00:31:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.allouttabubblegum.com\/main\/?p=10162"},"modified":"2011-01-04T17:31:48","modified_gmt":"2011-01-05T00:31:48","slug":"top-ten-reasons-i-dont-like-making-year-end-top-ten-lists","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/top-ten-reasons-i-dont-like-making-year-end-top-ten-lists\/","title":{"rendered":"Top Ten Reasons I Don’t Like Making Year-End Top Ten Lists"},"content":{"rendered":"

or: <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Top Ten 2010 Films, That For Some Dumbass Reason Weren’t Widely Released In 2010–That I’m Looking Forward To Seeing<\/span>
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

by RANTBO<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Su<\/p>\n

10. Su Qi-Er a.k.a True Legend<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I don\u2019t know much about this one, other than that Woo-ping is in the director\u2019s chair, so it\u2019s already a must see for me. According to IMDb poster Sam Sung-Sang, however,\u00a0 \u2026<\/p>\n

Su Qi-Er retired from his life as a renowned Qing dynasty general in order to pursue his dream of a family and his own martial arts school. However, Su’s peaceful life is shattered when his vengeful adopted brother, Yuan Lie, kidnaps his son and leaves Su for dead. Saved from his demise by his wife Ying and the reclusive doctor Yu, Su resolves to perfect his technique so that he may defeat Yuan Lie and reunite his family. Aided by the mystical “God of Wushu” and the eccentric “Old Sage,” Su masters the art of Drunken Boxing, and embarks on the path that would eventually give rise to the legend of the “King of Beggars.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Hmm, OK. Oh, and Yu is played by Michelle Yeoh. SOLD.<\/p>\n

\"Tomorrow,<\/p>\n

09. Tomorrow, When the War Began<\/h2>\n

Ever since MGM\u2019s tits went dry and the remake of Red Dawn<\/strong> was cast into limbo with James Bond and all my hopes and dreams, I\u2019ve been keeping tabs on this Aussie import about a group of teens that—Well, the story is based on—It\u2019s the Australian Red Dawn<\/strong>, there\u2019s no better or more accurate way to put it. Apparently the book series is uber popular with you youngsters, but I\u2019m more motivated by hot young assertive ladies and their cannon-fodder boyfriends taking care of invading business on the big screen. Be it really shitty or surprisingly good,\u00a0 it sounds like an entertainment win to me.<\/p>\n

\"Da<\/p>\n

08. Da bing xiao jiang a.k.a. Little Big Soldier<\/h2>\n

Hot off of his stellar run of American films: The Spy Next Door<\/strong>, The Karate Kid<\/strong>, The Forbidden Kingdom<\/strong>\u2026. Kung Fu Panda 2<\/strong>–What the fuck, Why!? Jackie returns to the land of GOOD movies, Hong Kong, for a film 20 years in the making. Well, not really, but Jackie originally had the idea for a story about two enemy soldiers, one old and one young, that journey together, back when Chan planned on being \u2018the young\u2019.\u00a0 Sounds all fine and well, but the only reason I need to watch a Jackie Chan film is that it has Jackie Chan and isn\u2019t made for American children.<\/p>\n

\"The<\/p>\n

07. The Eagle Path<\/h2>\n

Jean-Claude Van Damme plays Older-Jean-Claude Van Damme in a movie in which Jean-Claude Van Damme surely kicks people in fits of rage and vengeance. When THE FUCK is this coming out, JC? We\u2019ve been waiting for something like two years\u2026 I have a fever–and the only prescription is more split-kicks and violence. Seriously, Van Damme\u2019s last crop of films have been stellar and while early reviews suggest that this one isn\u2019t up-to-par, I say: can\u2019t be worse than the crap released during \u2018the coke-years\u2018. So, don\u2019t make us wait for a DTV-name changed-exploitative-riding on the coattails of The Expendables 2<\/strong>-cash in, appease your fans and bring on your hot daughter<\/span> bring on the Eagle!<\/p>\n

\"Black<\/p>\n

06. Black Death<\/h2>\n

Now THIS is what Season Of The Witch<\/strong> should have shot for. A violent, filthy, puke-spattered dark ages action film with promises of gruesome death, destruction and depression. And not just because Sean Bean is the lead. But seriously, this genre has been making a small bit of a comeback lately after being hammered into oblivion by the overly-homoerotic 80s saturation, what with underrated gems like Valhalla Rising <\/strong>and Wolfhound<\/strong> (and, gods willing, the new Conan<\/strong>), and I hope that this one can be added to the list.<\/p>\n

\"J\u00fbsan-nin<\/p>\n

05. J\u00fbsan-nin no shikaku a.k.a. 13 Assassins<\/h2>\n

Takashi Miikie directs an epic period piece about a group of samurai warriors hellbent on a suicide mission to kill an evil warlord. Fuck Yeah, amirite!? How could this not be amazing? While I haven\u2019t seen a Miikie film since 2007\u2019s most excellent Sukiyaki Western Django<\/strong>, he\u2019s still a director that I make a point to check in on every so often. As while I don\u2019t really care for most of his films, I end up thinking and talking about them quite regularly and with a plot set-up like this one has, I think this has high potential to be one of his films I end up recommending because it\u2019s really awesome and not just because it’s really fucked up.<\/p>\n

\"En<\/p>\n

04. En ganske snill mann a.k.a. A Somewhat Gentle Man<\/h2>\n

Gritty comedic crime flicks are my bread and butter, and since Guy Richie has consigned himself to making another surely mediocre Holmes film instead of The Real Rocknrolla<\/strong>, at least the Norwegians seem to have the year covered. Yeah, the Norwegians. Who\u2019d a thunk it? But, just judging from the trailer, this one looks like a blast of violent black comedy that\u2019s been sadly lacking since–Perrier\u2019s Bounty<\/strong> –Jesus, it\u2019s been two years\u2026 This one seriously needs to get stateside, NOW.<\/p>\n

\"Chow<\/p>\n

03. Fat Films: Confucius, Let The Bullets Fly and Shanghai<\/h2>\n

OK, so technically I\u2019m cheating here by cramming three-in-one, but it has been a seriously LONG time since Chow has put out anything good. Sure, Children Of The Huang Shi<\/strong> was decent and I personally loved the third Pirates movie–but Chow was critically under used in both and I just really want to see my favorite actor put out something great again. And though my hopes are not high on this American released limbo trio, I fail to believe that at least Shanghai<\/strong>, a 40s style mystery\/romance won\u2019t entertain me to the fullest.<\/p>\n

\"Jianyu<\/p>\n

02. Jianyu a.k.a. Reign of Assassins<\/h2>\n

John Woo directs (jointly with some guy named Chao-Bin Su) Michelle Yeoh in a tale about an uber assassin on a journey to–you know what? They had me at John Woo. Simply put, this movie has my nads thoroughly pumped and aching for the sweet wargasmie release of stylized violence. May have to get my hands on a bootleg, if this takes much longer to make it over-seas.<\/p>\n

\"Akmareul<\/p>\n

01. Akmareul boatda a.k.a. I Saw The Devil<\/h2>\n

Byung-hun Lee stars as a secret agent tracking down a serial killer who murdered his wife-to-be. Directed by Ji-woo Kim. Does this need further explanation? Kim\u2019s last three films were so good, I\u2019d follow him onto a comic book adaptation with bedazzled signs and banners of pre-screened praise. And this isn\u2019t a lame ass Super-Hero movie, it\u2019s a gritty crime thriller. I can\u2019t wait.<\/p>\n

AND The Top Ten<\/span> Seven First Quarter Of 2011 Films That I’m Looking Forward To Seeing–So Far…<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"Hana\"<\/p>\n

07. Hanna -April 8-<\/h2>\n

Hit-Girl, the drama. Sure, it\u2019s PussyGay-13, but I can\u2019t help but be intrigued by the trailer. As of the time of this writing, I have yet to see The Lovely Bones<\/strong>, in which the young actress who plays the title character, Saoirse Ronan, made her big debut, but she has an awesome name and a cute \u2018you can trust me\u2019 face that could lead to some cool killings, so I\u2019ll check it out. Plus, it\u2019s really hard for me to pass up stories about assassins. I did it last year in skipping The American<\/strong>, and low-and-behold, it\u2019s currently my favorite movie of 2010.<\/p>\n

Also, this film could be a nice precursor or \u201cThe A-Team<\/strong>\u201d to \u201cThe Expendables<\/strong>\u201d for September\u2019s Colombiana<\/strong> (which I\u2019ll talk about later on in the year, as the release date comes closer)<\/p>\n

\"Fast<\/p>\n

06. Fast Five -April 29-<\/h2>\n

TYRESE IS BACK, BREH!<\/p>\n

\"Scream<\/p>\n

05. Scream 4 -April 15-<\/h2>\n

Holy mother of fuck–this had better be rated R, that\u2019s all I want and I\u2019ll be there. I missed out on seeing the original trilogy in theaters, but became an avid fan of \u2018Ghostface\u2019 on video and DVD. The series is a standout, brilliant satire on the Slasher movie genre, that TRUE fans of the genre appreciate and understand. (read: FUCK Scary Movie<\/strong>) With a cast as long as Courteney Cox\u2019s pre-nup\u2019, including the return of Neve Campbell and her big-ass teeth and Wes back in the D-Chair, I\u2019m for certain going to be there opening night to soak in the next generation of teenage (read: 30 something) blood. Especially Emma Roberts ~drool~ Even if she hadn\u2019t been produced by Eric\u2019s coke-fueled sack-o-lore, I\u2019d still hit that like the fist of an angry god.<\/p>\n

\"Sucker<\/p>\n

04. Sucker Punch -March 25-<\/h2>\n

Hot Chicks-Check. Guns and Samurai Swords–Check. Dragons and Robots–Check. The Director Of Watchmen<\/strong>, Dawn Of The Dead<\/strong> and 300<\/strong>–Check. This could very well be THE greatest fan-service film of all time–ALL TIME. Or, it could completely and utterly suck rusty robot-bunny balls. But, I know I\u2019ll be there first hand to discover which it will be, even if–oh please, no–it gets a dreaded PG-13… In which case, I hate myself already.<\/p>\n

\"The<\/p>\n

03. The Mechanic -January 28-<\/h2>\n

Jason Statham hasn\u2019t made a truly great film in over 10 years. So why do I keep paying to see him? Because he\u2019s made a bunch of entreatingly awful ones. And he\u2019s so Handsome.<\/span> But this film could be different, this film is a remake of one of Charlie Bronson\u2019s finest , about a hitman, his prot\u00e9g\u00e9 and the strife between said relationship. Ben Foster plays the apprentice, and there could not be a better choice, as I personally believe that he\u2019s the finest actor under 35 that\u2019s out there. And when teamed up with Statham on a mission to kill–how could this not be a good time? Plus, Simon \u2018Con Air<\/strong>\u2019 West is directing. \u201cNow that\u2019s something you don\u2019t see every day\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Drive<\/p>\n

02. Drive Angry (shot in) 3D -February 25-<\/h2>\n

Nic Cage plays an un-dead rebel from Hell who teams up with Amber Heard in Daisy Dukes\u2019, on a mission of vengeance to annihilate the men who wronged his family by killing them with, amongst other things, his car—in True 3D. Simply outstanding, and I hate 3D.<\/p>\n

\"Kill<\/p>\n

01. Kill The Irishman -March 11-<\/h2>\n

Remember what I wrote above about A Somewhat Gentle Man<\/strong>, well Kill The Irishman<\/strong> looks like THIS years version–only better. The true story of an Irish thug who takes on the mob in 1970\u2019s Cleveland, who refuses to fucking die as he tears them apart like Lisa in The Room<\/strong>. Staring Ray Stevenson as the mick and Christopher Walken as the mob guy. Not to mention Vinnie Jones, Robert Davi and Edgar (Vinnie D\u2019) co-star. Cussing, fighting, killing and explosions ensue in what I\u2019m sure will be one of my favorite films of next year.<\/p>\n

See you at the movies ~RANTBO<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

————————————————————-<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

or: Top Ten 2010 Films, That For Some Dumbass Reason Weren’t Widely Released In 2010–That I’m Looking Forward To Seeing by RANTBO 10. Su Qi-Er a.k.a True Legend I don\u2019t know much about this one, other than that Woo-ping is in the director\u2019s chair, so it\u2019s already a must see for me. According to IMDb … Read moreTop Ten Reasons I Don’t Like Making Year-End Top Ten Lists<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[1949],"class_list":["post-10162","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","tag-top-ten-2010"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10162","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10162"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10162\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10162"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10162"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allouttabubblegum.com\/new-home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10162"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}