[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]
Romeo Must Die (2000): Guest Breakdown by Helen Ripley of ActionMovieFreak.com
Enter the Little Guy—Jet Li is unstoppable and irresistible as he beats down everyone to win the heart of hip-hop hottie Aaliyah.
[THE EXECUTION]
Jet Li stars as “Han”, a one-man army on a mission to avenge the death of his little brother, killed in a struggle between rival Chinese (his) and black (hers) crime families. Aaliyah stars as “Trish”, his love interest, whose brother is also killed. With a common interest in revenge, the two team up to solve the murders.
Li’s speed and martial arts skills, combined with multiple explosions, fist fights, gun fights, gnarly kills, a car/motorcyle chase, and a CGI x-ray gimmick, deliver the action of “Romeo Must Die” like a bullet to the chest!
Producer Joel Silver and Director Andrzej Bartkowiak (Lethal Weapon 4) pair up with the legendary Corey Yuen (who would go on do the Transporter series) and John Gaeta’s Manex Visual Effects Company (who created the “bullet time” for The Matrix) to make a series of seven impressive and entertaining beatdowns in this atypical anti-action-movie-hero action movie.
Jet Li burst onto the American movie screen in a minor part in Lethal Weapon 4 as the bad guy. If looks could kill, Jet’s icy stare and sex appeal alone were a lethal weapon. His fighting skills were so fast and fierce, they had to ask him to slow his movements down so Mel Gibson could keep up, and they had to use both Mel and Danny Glover at the end to try to take him out, otherwise it wouldn’t have been believable—it still wasn’t. Jet Li kicked ass! As evil and intense as Jet was in that movie, he’s sweet and low key as the lead actor in this one. Romeo Must Die has almost none of the typical trash-talking braggadocio action movies are known for.
The typical action movie bad asses in this movie are the bad guys. The first time you see them, they’re wearing long jackets and sunglasses, and they’re all really tall. Compared to Jet Li at 5′ 6″, Russell Wong as “Kai” is 6′, Isaiah Washington as “Mac” is 6′ 1″, and Trish’s father Delroy Lindo as “Isaak” is 6′ 4″. Everyone but Han thinks they’re the shit. They dress to impress, walk with a swagger, and wear shades like they’re too cool to take them off at night or inside. With all the expected trappings: drugs, money, hot chicks, slick cars, and cool threads—the bad guys are ambitious, greedy, and amoral, and the movie seems to say that these traits will cause your downfall. Most movies, it’s cool to be bad, but in this one it’s bad to be cool.
Enter Jet Li. Quietly. Well, not exactly. When Jet beats up four prison guards while handcuffed and hanging upside down by one leg, you know you’re in for some great fight scenes. He doesn’t say much and he definitely dresses down, but don’t be fooled by his low-key persona. He shuts up but he puts up.
[HOW BAD-ASS IS THE MAIN CHARACTER?]
Han is a former policeman wrongfully imprisoned (he takes the fall to protect his father and little brother—they don’t say what for). Li comes off as a Regular Joe, but with mad skills and a grudge. He speaks very little, but each time he is forced to fight, seems to easily win against four to eight guys, and improvises all kinds of weapons and defensive uses for ordinary objects without killing anyone. (The severed-firehose-as-a-kusari-gama scene includes a backwards airborne shot through his legs! Just a little phallic—Way to use your ‘hose’!)
[THE BODY COUNT: 33]
As a true good guy, Han intentionally kills only one person—The man who killed his little brother: Kai. One girl who is trying to kill him, dies as a result of the fight, but it is an accident, and Han’s father commits suicide after Han shames him for his part in the death of his little brother “Po”. (Total 3)
Mac, Trish’s father’s head henchman, blows up two people in a barber shop with a package bomb. Then, he tosses “Colin” (Trish’s brother) and his girlfriend out the window of a tall building, shoots Silk the club owner, and Trish’s father (2+2+1+1=6). Plus, Mac’s men take out three at the final business meeting. (Total 9)
Kai, Han’s father’s head henchman, kills Po. He shoots two drug dealers on a barge, plus the guy in the parking lot who is watching the barge, and then, when he blows up the barge, kills six drug addicts still inside (2+6+1=9). Kai is also responsible for the seven deaths in the Metal Salvage yard (Han and Trish discover the bodies), and he arranges to have two Chinese overlords butchered. (The death of Po and the two Chinese overlords could be blamed on Han’s father for ordering them, but Kai carried them out/arranged them). (Total 19)
Isaak shoots one of Mac’s men who is holding Trish hostage in the final business meeting. (1)
Trish shoots Mac to save Han. (1)
[MOST SATISFYING ASS-KICKING & DEATH]
The most satisfying death would have to be Kai’s. When Han and Kai first reunite and fight (just for fun—like old friends) it seems unlikely that Han could beat him in a serious fight (if one ignores that Han’s the hero of the story) as Kai’s just as skilled as Han, plus Kai’s much bigger and stronger. During this first play fight, Han seems to downplay his skills. When they stop, Kai tells Han: “I was afraid prison would make you soft.” Han whips out Kai’s stupid blue sunglasses which he somehow pick-pocketed during the fight and replies, handing him the sunglasses: “People don’t get soft in prison.”
Until the final fight scene, we never see Han angry. But the first time he sees Kai after figuring out that Kai killed Po, his look says it all. A betrayal so evil, it makes this impending kill all the more satisfying. Instantly filled with fear, Kai immediately starts confessing/justifying, but it’s too late for mercy. Right off the bat (and in classic action movie form), Han takes a hell of a beating with Kai literally (well, pretty close) mopping the floor with him and throwing him through a fence, leading you to believe Han might not have what it takes. But we all know better. Han regroups, becomes enraged and you know he simply will not lose. You don’t know ‘pissed’ until you see the rage in Han’s face when he re-appears and rips his jacket apart.
Then, in a move straight out of The Street Fighter (dubbed “the ultra-pain mode” in the DVD extras and used three times with great effect within this film), Han super-kicks Kai in a kick-ass, slo-mo, x-ray vision shot, showing us in all it’s crippling glory, Kai’s vertebrae being crushed like dominoes one right after another: pop-pop-pop-pop-pop . . . sweet justice! Die-hard action movie fans are sure to clap.
[DUDESWEAT AND MACHISMO]
While this movie is chock full of swinging dicks with fancy ideas of who they are (“serious façade”), there are also some Regular Joes. These manly dudes break a sweat playing football as Isaak’s men do a trial-by-fire tackle payback on Han for him taking them all down the day before.
On the first play, Han takes some hard hits and a pile-up. Next play, he’s tackled into an airborne flip and helicoptered—a move you can’t help but cringe at (remembering the tackles of Nat Moore in 1984 and John Elway in ’98). Catching on, Han fights back and wins (again). Most of the machismo is spouted off by Anthony Anderson who’s full of himself, not afraid to show it, and always stealing the show. As exaggerated as the moves are, it still satisfies in both the action and macho categories.
Outside of the “football beatdown scene”, there’s only the slightly too-close relationship between Isaak and Mac…
MAC: Isaak, if you’re serious about going straight (nice choice of words), I just wanna know if you’ve got a plan for old Mac, or should I start looking at the classifieds?
ISAAK: Long as I’m breathing, you ain’t never got to worry ’bout no classifieds.
MAC: Alright.
ISAAK: C’mon boy, you know it’s me and you!
So it’s not a huge surprise when Mac kills his rival, Isaak’s son, out of jealousy. And then there’s that line about never going “soft” in prison…
[EXPLOITATION AND MISOGYNY]
Surprisingly little. Trish, the lead character is such a wholesome good girl, that the bad girls (there are three) seem to be present only to exemplify what immature losers the men they are with are. The movie actually seems pro-vagina, with a message that a good woman is worth fighting for and protecting, and that bad things happen to shallow, stupid men who hang out with loose women.
The movie opens with Po, Han’s little brother, being told to leave a club because two of the three girls with him are kissing and undressing each other (featuring some brief gratuitous nudity of one very nice boob), to the disgust of the other patrons.
Then later, Colin, Trish’s older brother, and his girlfriend are smoking pot. The girlfriend is undressed (in a bra and panties with an open robe) and when someone knocks on their door, she answers, robe hanging open with no modesty and no shame.
[EPIC MOMENT AND BEST ONE-LINER]
My favorite moment is the comic relief when Mac (great name) tries to mack on Trish, gets shot down, and storms out. On his way out he has to pass by Anthony Anderson as “Maurice” aka “Moron” who mocks him “Hey Mac, you’re so smooove with the ladies, baby!” This may have been a Jet Li movie, but it was also The Anthony Anderson Show. And what’s an action movie without a wise-cracking smart ass?
[THE MORAL OF THE STORY]
Size doesn’t matter. From the lyrics of the opening credits song: “It ain’t always about the size of the guns. Sometimes it’s the bullet.”
[THE CHECKLIST: 16 outta 25]
[X] Athlete(s) Turned “Actor”
[X] Clinging To The Outside Of A Moving Vehicle
[X] Crotch Attack
[ ] Dialogue Telling Us How Bad-Ass The Main Character(s) Is/Are
[ ] Ending Featuring An Ambulance, A Blanket or A Towel
[X] Factory/Warehouse
[X] Giant Explosion(s)
[X] Heavy Artillery
[X] Improvised Weapon(s)
[X] Macho Mode(s) Of Transportation
[X] Main Character Sports Facial Accessory(s)
[ ] Manly Embrace(s)
[ ] Notorious Stunt-Man Sighting
[ ] Passage(s) Of Time Via Montage
[ ] Politically Fueled Plot Point(s)
[X] Senseless Destruction Of Property
[X] Shoot Out(s) and/or Sword Fight(s)
[X] Slow-Motion Finishing Move(s)/Death(s)
[ ] Stupid Authoritative Figure(s)
[X] Substance Usage and/or Abuse
[ ] Tis The Season
[X] Torture Sequence(s)
[ ] Unnecessary Sequel
[X] Vehicle Chase(s)
[X] Vigilante Justice
Romeo Must Die (2000) © Warner Brothers Picture and Home Video