Live Free or Under Siege

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995): Breakdown by Rantbo Die Hard on a train. Casey Ryback returns to kill terrorists on a cross-country family trip. [THE EXECUTION] Seagal uses his nurturing skills learned by babysitting Miss July ‘89 to take his recently orphaned niece on a train ride through the mid-northwest. He’s doing … Read moreLive Free or Under Siege

Apparition Incarcerators Just Didn’t Have The Same Ring To It…

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Ghost Busters (1984): Breakdown by Rantbo An Egg-head, a Buffoon, a Smart-Ass and a Man For Hire take on legions of the undead. [THE EXECUTION] Now, I admit that it is most definitely a stretch including GHOST BUSTERS in our ACTION Breakdowns. The film’s plot is driven by comedic and spooky situations as … Read moreApparition Incarcerators Just Didn’t Have The Same Ring To It…

Hickey & Boggs are The Ambiguously Apathetic Duo

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Hickey & Boggs (1972): Breakdown by Kain424 Two Dicks try to solve a money-changing case, upgrade their arsenal, and get over their failed relationships with women.  And down as many hotdogs as a buddy-cop film will allow. [THE EXECUTION] It’s hard to rate this film well, considering that there is so little action … Read moreHickey & Boggs are The Ambiguously Apathetic Duo

It’s Just Like Die Hard, But it is Wetter, Under The Siege

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Under Siege (1992): Breakdown by Rantbo Die Hard on a boat. Chef Seagal opens up a can of whoop-ass, serves up some dead terrorists and carves up Tommy Lee Jones like a thanksgiving soldier of fortune. [THE EXECUTION] With the downtrodden hearts and minds of Action fans the world over starting to visibly … Read moreIt’s Just Like Die Hard, But it is Wetter, Under The Siege

The Beast/Abs/Pecks/Thigh Master

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Beastmaster (1982): Breakdown by Rantbo He-Man with less clothes, no guns and more animals. [THE EXECUTION] THE BEASTMASTER’s story is like a book of Mad Libs filled in by a demented 3rd grader during a detention for sneaking into the girl’s lockeroom… Once upon a time there was a fetus that was … Read moreThe Beast/Abs/Pecks/Thigh Master

Rambo, First Blood: Episode III – Revenge of the Al-Qaeda

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Rambo III (1988): Breakdown by Rantbo Rambo ends the Cold War to save the man of his dreams. [THE EXECUTION] Rambo’s Back, Again… and showing his pecks off to some little kids? Awkward… Anyways, this time, Rambo fights for love. After re-fighting Vietnam and tying up the score, Rambo moved to Thailand and … Read moreRambo, First Blood: Episode III – Revenge of the Al-Qaeda

Armageddon Popcorn Michael Bay Ass-Fuck Suicide

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Armageddon (1998) The Director’s Cut, Now With Three More Minutes Of Heart-Pounding Sentiments And Shitty Dated Rock Music: Breakdown by Rantbo The power of love, prayer and a windswept Old Glory give a small group of blue-collar Americans the power to save the world from a giant lion-roaring space-rock. [THE EXECUTION] Assume The … Read moreArmageddon Popcorn Michael Bay Ass-Fuck Suicide