Rambo, First Blood: Episode III – Revenge of the Al-Qaeda

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Rambo III (1988): Breakdown by Rantbo Rambo ends the Cold War to save the man of his dreams. [THE EXECUTION] Rambo’s Back, Again… and showing his pecks off to some little kids? Awkward… Anyways, this time, Rambo fights for love. After re-fighting Vietnam and tying up the score, Rambo moved to Thailand and … Read moreRambo, First Blood: Episode III – Revenge of the Al-Qaeda

Armageddon Popcorn Michael Bay Ass-Fuck Suicide

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Armageddon (1998) The Director’s Cut, Now With Three More Minutes Of Heart-Pounding Sentiments And Shitty Dated Rock Music: Breakdown by Rantbo The power of love, prayer and a windswept Old Glory give a small group of blue-collar Americans the power to save the world from a giant lion-roaring space-rock. [THE EXECUTION] Assume The … Read moreArmageddon Popcorn Michael Bay Ass-Fuck Suicide

Rambo, First Blood: Episode II – Rambo’s Back In Nam

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985): Breakdown by Rantbo Vietnam–Round Two. And Rambo gets to win this time. By attrition. [THE EXECUTION] Rambo’s Back …and returning to the land of his birth. ‘Nam. Descending from the heavens (via parachute), he is reborn in the freshly spilt blood of the vile Vietcong.  They took … Read moreRambo, First Blood: Episode II – Rambo’s Back In Nam

Two Chicks, Kung Fu

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Yes, Madam a.k.a. Police Assassins a.k.a. Huang jia shi jie (1985): Breakdown by Kain424 Two hot, ass-kicking, female cops in Hong Kong attempt to solve a high-profile forgery case and take down a ruthless criminal kingpin.  Also, a trio of goofy males attempt to ruin an otherwise decent buddy cop movie. CLICK HERE … Read moreTwo Chicks, Kung Fu

DOA: DAMES OR manASS. You’re Invited To Eye-Candy-Island.

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] DOA: Dead or Alive (2006): Breakdown by Rantbo ENTER THE DRAGON with more titties and BEST OF THE BEST’s Eric Roberts. SOLD! [THE EXECUTION] DOA is “THE best movie adaptation of a video game so far! -Matthew Turner, VIEW LONDON” I concur, Matthew. Big breasted women and a grab bag of goofy looking … Read moreDOA: DAMES OR manASS. You’re Invited To Eye-Candy-Island.

Die Hard With A Vengeance, A Dish Best Served With Samuel L. Jackson

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Die Hard: With A Vengeance (1995): Breakdown by Rantbo DIE HARD in a city. The same shit happens to the same guy, thrice. [THE EXECUTION] John McClane loses more hair, gains a magical African American friend, kills terrorists, smokes cigarettes and watches Captain Kangaroo. McClane is back, and it’s as though DIE HARDER … Read moreDie Hard With A Vengeance, A Dish Best Served With Samuel L. Jackson

DIE HARD 2: COINCIDENCE IS A BITCH FROM HELL

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Die Hard 2 (1990): Breakdown by Rantbo DIE HARD in an airport. The same shit happens to the same guy. [THE EXECUTION] It’s Christmas time again, and you know what that means. Asshole consumers, shitty music and even shittier driving conditions (I take that back, the music is shittier). But, it also means … Read moreDIE HARD 2: COINCIDENCE IS A BITCH FROM HELL