[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] The Terminator (1984): Breakdown by Kain424 In the future, man and machine are nearing the end of a hard-fought war. Seeing their closing demise, the machines send an assassin back in time to kill the mother of the man that’s lead to their downfall, and the humans send Michael Biehn back to stop … Read moreThe Retro-Active Abortionator
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Point Break (1991): Breakdown by Rantbo Undercover cop falls for dreamy bank robbing surfer dude. Is torn between his duty to bust him and his urge to bust a nut inside him. [THE EXECUTION] In keeping with late 80s style, POINT BREAK is a trip down macho lane. The film centers on an … Read morePoint Breahk
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Dirty Harry (1971): Breakdown by Kain424 A .44 Magnum-wielding California cop breaks all the rules to track down a serial killer, spawning a genre and a half (read as: initiates a series of plot points that would become THE hard-boiled cop cliches). [THE EXECUTION] Dirty Harry is a movie that rails against a … Read moreFascist Awesome
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Ying hung boon sik a.k.a. A Better Tomorrow (1986): Breakdown by Rantbo Gangsters, Guns, Bullets, Blood—Credits. [THE EXECUTION] A BETTER TOMORROW; a tale of brotherhood, honor, betrayal, friendship, family, trust, revenge and 10,000 bullets. It’s not John Woo’s first action film, and it’s not the first of the genre that would later be … Read moreA Shitty Day After Yesterday…
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Resident Evil: Extinction (2007): Breakdown by Rantbo The Skinny One returns to roam the desert, kill birds and fight a hentai rape monster. [THE EXECUTION] Well, third time appears to be the charm, as EXTINCTION is by far the best film of the series. But that isn’t saying much. Instead of moving on … Read moreResident Evil 3: Program ASS Activated
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004): Breakdown by Rantbo Skinny Chick returns to kung fu the cast of Michael Jackson’s Thriller, wire-fight a giant mutated retard and run down the side of a building for some dumbass reason. [THE EXECUTION] This film picks up directly after the events in part one. Which I happen to … Read moreResident Evil 2: The Ass Continues
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Resident Evil (2002): Breakdown by Rantbo Skinny Chick kicks a dog, shoots zombies and wears a dress. One of these she does well. You get three guesses as to which it is. [THE EXECUTION] I wouldn’t say I’m a BIG fan of the Resident Evil video game series, but I’ve played the main … Read moreResident Evil: Survive The Ass
RAMBO’S BACK… THIS TIME IT’S CLOTHED [THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Rambo (2008): Breakdown by Rantbo Rambo comes out of retirement to kill again, so that white christian women can continue to be foolhardy troublesome nitwits, without fear of being raped by brown people. [THE EXECUTION] Ah, FIRST BLOOD PART 4. Easily one of the best action films … Read moreRambo, First Blood: Episode IV – Rambo Lives For Something… Killing
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Ghostbusters II (1989): Breakdown by Kain424 Same story, different villain. [THE EXECUTION] Ghostbusters II is usually considered to be the lesser of two fun films, and I am in agreement. It’s not a bad follow-up, but it does suffer from sequelitis. The story is essentially a retread, and much of the film refuses … Read moreGhostbusters II: The Secret Of The Ooze
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE] Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995): Breakdown by Rantbo Die Hard on a train. Casey Ryback returns to kill terrorists on a cross-country family trip. [THE EXECUTION] Seagal uses his nurturing skills learned by babysitting Miss July ‘89 to take his recently orphaned niece on a train ride through the mid-northwest. He’s doing … Read moreLive Free or Under Siege